|"I gotta get some new moves bruh! Boyz ain't gonna keep falling for the Oaky Doke!"|
The infamous Tony Romo put his Slep Rock outfit on Sunday night and did just what we thought he was capable of doing. Choking! In literally a win or go home scenario this dun fell apart like a Lego front door in a drug raid bruh! He went out to Landover and threw 3 picks in a 28-18 loss to the Redskins to kill the Cowboys post-season hopes for the third straight year.
Normally I’d blame Jerry Jones for the Cowboys problems but this year Ima blame his momma for raising such a hard headed child! To keep riding with Romo is insanity homeboy! What did the old timers teach you comin’ up? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Why would any sane individual think that Tony Romo would show up and play well if the playoffs were on the line? This cat breaks out in hives at the mention of the word playoff!
Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The same clowns that have been telling me that Tim Tebow can’t play quarterback in the NFL have been shouting from the roof tops that Tony Romo is an elite quarterback. I know that I’m not the only dun that has heard them screaming in the night air that Romo is the REAL DEAL? Would you rather have a cat that can throw the football into a rabbit hole from 60 yards out and lose or a cat that has the “It Factor” that can’t throw it over his shoulder and win? I’m just sayin’!
They keep selling all of the Romo attributes to me too. He’s got a great arm, a soft touch, his decision making ability is unparalleled. His shoes even look good on him when he walks. Look how great the number 9 sits on his back! His helmet sits perfectly on his head while his shoulder pads were simply made for him. I feel like somebody is trying to set me up on a blind date every time I turn on the TV or radio. I hear you talkin’ but I can’t see what you’re selling because she ain’t as fine as you keep telling me she is. As a matter of fact, she ain’t fine at all. The longer I sit here the more she's starting to look like Alice the Goon!
Believing in Romo is as IGNORANT as going to the strip club bruh! Why believe in the fantasy that doesn’t exist? He’s like the exotic dancer that gets you excited all night long only to drop you back off at the same place you started! And by the way, she took all of your freaking money in the process. If that ain’t Tony Romo I don’t know what is.
If you couldn't feel me on that because I know how you boyz like to get down peep this out. If I invited you over to my crib for dinner and laid a spread out in front of you with all of the trimmings. Told you that you had to buy the groceries but you couldn't eat. I need you to sit there for two hours, buy drinks and just look at it. Would you ever come back over to my crib again bruh?
Normally NFL quarterbacks have a small speaker built into their helmets to get the play calls from the coaches. Well Romo’s helmet had the wrong channel and coach talking to him last night. His joint was bumpin’ that Jim Mora, “What’s that? Ah-Playoffs?!? Don’t talk about playoffs?!? Playoffs??!! You kidding me?!?” He didn’t hear a single play called all night!
At least I don’t have to listen to the “Romo is an elite quarterback song and dance” ever again. He'll be forever known as "Delicious the Rump Shaker" because he does have the uncanny ability to rip boyz off on a pipe dream like a table dancer! Oh yeah, tell Jerry Jones I’m looking for his momma too because somebody’s gotta talk some sense into that boy before there's a riot in Dallas!
Holla At Ya Boy!
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport