Call of Duty

"Dude, this is easier than playin' Madden!" 

Have you ever felt like you’ve been sucker punched? Every now and then it happens when I turn on the television to watch a fight and a hockey game breaks out. It typically happens when I go to concerts at HBCU's (Historically Black College & Universities) and a football game breaks out of nowhere. I should be used to it by now but it always startles me because just when I'm groovin' all of a sudden boyz run out and start playing football. That messes me up every time. On a side note, I've never been able to understand why you would want to play on a campus where the band gets more props than the football team. I mean literally the drum majors got more women than the starting quarterback. Explain that one to me bruh? What's the point in playing? Just get in the band!

I had that same odd feeling on Saturday as I was watching the Baylor/West Virginia game. I was posted up to watch the debut of the Mountaineers in the Big 12 conference to see what Geno Smith and Co. could do against better competition after leaving the Big East. Then all of a sudden a track meet broke out. Then I thought I was at a basketball game turned tennis match and I swore I saw John McEnroe cursing the ref out at the 50 yard line. What's really going on bruh?

West Virginia beat Baylor 70-63 in Morgantown and I couldn’t turn the channel because I was waiting for somebody to just tackle something. I would have been cool with the mascots fighting on the sidelines like the Oregon Duck always does. Remember when the Ohio mascot beat up Brutus Buckeye last year before the game? Hilarious!

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! How does two FBS level schools show up and play a football game with both defenses still at the hotel playing Call of Duty? These duns must have gone on strike with the NFL officials and didn’t hear that it was over.

There was a combined 1507 total yards in this ball game. Geno Smith was 45-51 for 656 yards and 8 touchdowns. Ole boy from Baylor, Nick Florence, was just as potent with 581 yards and 5 TD’s.  Both West Virginia wide outs had more than 300 yards receiving each. So am I supposed to be impressed that they put these numbers against no defense?

 Don't give Geno props for throwing the rock around against a Pop Warner defense cuz Florence did the same thing and we don't even know this dun! How can you give Geno props and some no name cat puts up the same numbers? That ain't hatin' bruh, that’s real talk. Tim Tebow could have put up 500 yards in that game homeboy! I could have thrown for 300 with my little hand! Now do I think he'll still win the Heisman? Absolutely! But slow down on this game bruh!

It literally came down to who had the ball last. I saw the freaking punters in the parking lot tailgating because they felt neglected. There were 4 punts all day. How does that happen? I’m just waiting on the announcement that both defensive coordinators got fired today. I wouldn’t have let them anywhere near my locker room after that game. I would have let the mascots kick them in the pants once for every point they gave up and drag them through campus on their knees.

It wasn’t like the offenses were methodically moving the ball up and down the field and scoring. They were gashing each other with huge plays and both quarterbacks averaged more than 12 yards per pass! Neither defense could hit water if they fell out of a boat. They couldn’t hit an elephant in the butt with a bass fiddle. These boyz couldn’t stop a nose bleed with a sand bag!

So with that being said, how do we evaluate Geno Smith and West Virginia at this point? I’ve been saying that they were my pick to make it to the national championship game to play Florida State because I thought that they could run the table. They’ve got the offense to do it but that defense is terrible and you can’t say that they just had a bad day. A bad day is giving up a few big plays or blowing a couple of assignments but not every assignment all day long! That’s not correctable! So if they can score 70 points every week they can survive the Big 12 but that ain’t gonna happen.

They may not get out of Austin alive next week because the Longhorns are very athletic on defense and well…it is Texas! Even though they’ve been down the past two years they still have players and speed all over the field. WV is ranked 70^th in rushing and 97^th in points allowed. You can’t keep winning with those kinds of numbers because at some point the offense will shut down on you. I know Geno is the man but he can’t continue to carry these boyz like this. The D will have to tackle something in order to survive the offenses of the Big 12.

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport  

Parliament-Funkadelic

In Stores Now! "The Return of the Funk!"

 Parliament-Funkadelic was a collection of multiple groups traveling, touring and setting the world on fire, literally in the 1970’s and ‘80’s. Headed by the funkateer himself, George Clinton, these boyz put in work and Landed the Mother Ship everywhere they performed. With hits like “One Nation Under a Groove, Flash Light, Aqua Boogie, The Pinocchio Theory and the Knee Deep” they were unstoppable! I could name joints all day but we’d start a block party in this piece. Not only were they hot musically but they got your attention as soon as they walked on stage because the outfits were crazy off the charts!

Well…the Oregon Ducks are the P-Funk of football bruh! The national media keeps acting like these boyz ain’t puttin’ in work but they’re in the lab creating hits every week. The only Joe’s the media want to talk about are the teams in the SEC. Like they’re the only duns suiting up on Saturdays. On some real talk, I don’t wanna hear about anybody but Bama and speak lightly about them because that schedule this year is boo-boo with racing stripes!

They really look like they’re playing in the Big East or Big Ten this year. Let me break it down for you homie: Michigan(dull), Western Kentucky(so dull), Arkansas(John L. Smith dull), Florida Atlantic(extra dull with mild sauce on the side), Ole Miss( dull as usual), Mizzou(couldn’t win in the Big 12 dull), Tennessee( will pull the dull upset on Bama because of their passing game), Miss State( southern drawl dull), LSU(an on the road dull “L” for Bama),  Texas A&M(1^st year coach & new in the conference dull), Western Carolina(well done dull), Auburn( Gene Chizik will be fired by then dull). Stop it! Just Stop it! I don’t wanna hear nothing else about the tough schedule of the SEC not with joints like that!

I know they’ve got Georgia, LSU and South Carolina in the top 10 right now but none of those teams are the real deal. Like I always say, Georgia is Mark Richt’s Georgia, LSU can't throw the ball across the street and South Carolina is only in the top 10 because Steve Spurrier lives in Columbia and wears a sun visor.

"Make my Funk the P-Funk!"

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! The Oregon Ducks are the REAL DEAL and they’re killin’ the red carpet every time they show up to a premiere. Those uniforms are Blazin’ Hot like TheJayGravesReport every week bruh!  They’re ranked #2 in the country deservingly so. They’re puttin’ up yards like Pac Man Jones makin’ it rain in Vegas during the NBA All-Star weekend averaging 571 yards per game, which is ranked 5^th nationally. These boyz are sprinting for 308 yards(ranked #7) on the ground led by De’Anthony Thomas and hitting the scoreboard up for 52 points per game(ranked #4th) and all I keep hearing about is the entire "from top to bottom" dull argument of the SEC.

In a Memphis accent "C’mon Mane!" Like I broke down in the Hot Joint "The Myth of the SEC" they only have 2 cats that are representing annually without the anomalies of Auburn for 1 year because of Cam Newton and Florida during the Urban/Tebow run. Guys like Urban and Nick Saban will win anywhere that has talent. The problem is, everybody can’t win with talent. It takes a special coach to put his ability to lead in the same pot with talent and make some good gumbo. Those guys just happen to be that type of chef! It has nothing to do with the entire conference of the SEC because they have garbage teams too.

So while everybody is still sleepin’ on the Ducks. I’m just giving props to some boyz that are puttin’ out hits and everybody is trying to act like they don’t see people dancin’ when the DJ is spinnin’ those joints. Well  real football folks can see that the dance floor is packed and cats are yelling "oh, oh, oh ,oh! Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap!" I’m sorry! That’s that G.I. in me!  Took me back for a minute! I thought I was at the Sheraton or McBride somewhere! Excuse me for flashing back bruh!

Now I’m still sticking with my national championship game of Florida State and West Virginia because I believe that they’ve got a better chance of running the table. If  Oregon continues to win they may have to play USC twice and that would be more difficult to do than what FSU and WV will have to do to make it to Miami! Although, I think Oregon is better than both of those teams. So I'm going to keep watching these boyz land the Mother Ship and I'll keep doing the Monster Spank with folks that love good music because the Ducks are making it funky!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on nTwitter: @jaygravesreport

Plead The 5th!

"See what had happen was..."

There is a Japanese Proverb that says, “Deceive the rich and powerful, but don’t insult them.” Leonardo Davinci gave it to us this way, “The mole has very small eyes and it always lives under ground; and it lives as long as it is in the dark but when it comes into the light it dies immediately, because it becomes known;--and so it is with lies.” The peanut man selling bags off of  25^th Ave. profoundly put it like this, “If you’ll lie you’ll cheat, if you cheat you’ll steal! So don’t slow down on my corner homeboy.”

Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Golden Tate now decides to come out and say that he didn’t mean to push Green Bay defensive back Sam Shields out of the way as he was going for the football on Monday Night during the controversial Hail Mary play. Dude, nobody is trippin’ off of you pushing ole boy. That’s part of the game. We all could see that you pushed him. We’re waiting for you to admit that you didn’t catch the football. We all saw that too but it would show that you at least have some integrity.

The NFL has already ruled that the outcome of the game wouldn’t be overturned. So just come clean and say that it was a terrible call and that I didn’t catch the pass. It's like when your parents told you that if you told the truth you wouldn't get in trouble. Who cares that you pushed the guy? Of course they blew the call on that because if they had gotten the pass interference call right it wouldn’t have mattered who caught the ball because the play would have been blown dead anyway.

But to come out and say that you pushed the guy is like saying, “I was driving the car while my boyz were shooting at folks out of the window. I saw a couple of people fall out but I just thought they were playing.” If you hadn’t been driving we wouldn’t be talking about the drive by. However, since we are talking about it admit to the whole crime. Don’t play dumb and give us bits and pieces of the truth bruh. Otherwise, don’t saying anything at all. Plead the 5^th!

Like I said before, don’t insult folks with foolishness. It’s like the kid that hits another kid square in the mouth on lunch hour. Then goes to the principal’s office and tells them that the kid that got hit fell into the fist. Do you ever watch First 48 when these clowns come in and try to tell half of the truth not knowing that if they simply admit to being at the crime scene they’ve given up enough information to tie them to the murder. That’s Golden Tate right there bruh, talking way too much. All he had to say was, “I want a lawyer” and boyz would have backed off of him. There would be no trial because the NFL has ruled that it’s a mute point. So why is he still talking about it? Because the guilt is killing him! I'm just glad that he gave up stealing donuts because he wouldn't last 10 minutes in the interrogation room with all of that glaze on his hands.

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Immortalized

The picture that's worth a Million smiles!

The famous author L. Frank Braum wrote in The Marvelous Land of Oz, “Everything has to come to an end, sometime.”  James Evans gave it to us like this, “You don’t have to go home but you gotta get the hell out of here.” Uncle Willie was famous for saying, "Let the door knob hit ya where the good Lord split ya!" Either way you get the point. All good things must come to an end.

The NFL referee lockout is over! The two sides came to an agreement around midnight Thursday morning. However, I was having the time of my life watching the dull replacements get abused on national television and it was better than the game itself. Only the irrational face painting guy or the addicted gambler couldn’t find the humor in it all. It was the best reality TV I’ve seen in years bruh! I just want to know where to send the check so that I can contribute to their next road show.  These guys need to go on tour like the Harlem Globetrotters. They’d sell the joint out in every city.

Now everybody wants to act like they didn’t see the racial dynamics of the Monday Night Football blown call. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! When the Hail Mary was thrown and boyz started wrestling over the possession of the football the brother called it an interception. Then the white dude called it a touchdown. At that moment did you see the brother’s expression change? It was worth a million dollars and just as funny. It was all over his face! He was like, “Not again bruh! You can’t do this to me on national TV! All my boyz are watching this joint down at the pool hall! You know they’re gonna go with whatever YOU say! All we gotta do is call it an interception and we can go the crib no questions asked.” But once again the brother gets overruled!

Now instead of being able to just run off of the field and take a shower they get jammed up for the next 4 hours answering questions. Ya’ll know the brother was ready to go to the crib and be famous around all of the fellas because he was on Monday Night Football.  He was ready to buy out the bar and talk trash for the rest of the night. Instead, he’s been immortalized on NFL Films because the white dude made the wrong call. Ain’t that a blip! Now his grandkids will be able to see him on NFL bloopers 40 years from now and all the fellas at the pool hall and the car wash will be laughing at him for years to come.  

Why is it that the brother always gets blamed for something that he didn’t do? Here he is minding his own business walking down street and a Hail Mary comes out of the sky and he’s got to call it. Then a white cat runs up and says, “Hey man, I’ll help you.” He immediately gets apprehensive because he knows where this could go. The catch is made, he makes the call and all of a sudden people are going crazy.

 Great call bruh! Now we can keep walking down the street right? Wrong! The white guy called it a touchdown and now the cops are all over the joint checking the surveillance camera. Nobody sees that the brother made the right call and gives him credit for it. Instead, he’s sitting here looking stupid because some cat ran up that he doesn’t even know and tried to help him out. Now he’s famous for all of the wrong reasons. However, in the hood all of the brothers saw what really went down so he gets a pass. Now that doesn’t mean he can show boat about being a ref in the NFL for 3 weeks because he’ll always be that Dull Replacement that got caught up on the blown Monday Night Football call! That picture has been Immortalized and hung up in the pool hall, the car wash and the barber shop in every ghetto in America bruh!

P.S.: If you can't see the humor in this joint you need to loosen up!

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

It Ain't My Fault

"Hey look here bruh, I can only see 2 maybe 3 cats at a time. Slow it down!"

In 1998 the worst rapper known to man, Silk The Shocker, released “It Ain’t My Fault” featuring one of the hottest rappers at the time Mystikal. Quite frankly, it should have been Mystikal’s joint because he carried that record just like Twista did on “Po Pimp” by Do or Die. It works the same way in the sports world too. How many times have we seen Kobe or LeBron just put boyz on their backs and take them where ever the bus was going?

Unfortunately, in the NFL the referees don’t have the capacity to do the same. They're just part of the cog that makes the wheel go round but it doesn’t stop the joint from moving. As I explained in the Hot Joint, "Who's Playin' Who?" the refs are only playing themselves because people are still going to the games and watching them on television even if they are frustrated.

Now everybody is upset with the replacements but it isn’t their fault that they can’t keep up with the game. They aren’t NFL officials! These duns were officiating Division 2 and 3 games last year. Some of them were even working Arena and Lingerie league games. Now all of a sudden they're national TV working the biggest sport in the country and you're expecting them to be NFL ready?

That’s like taking Lil’ Elbow and Spotta Man off of fries at McDonald’s on the low end and telling them to go fill in for the president of the company in a major negotiation. Then everybody gets upset with them for approving condoms for the bathrooms and penny beers for the menu. What do you expect bruh?

Have you really looked at these Joe’s? I mean the real refs run up and down the field all buffed with amazing confidence. The replacement cat is either really skinny or extremely bad built. I haven’t seen a guy yet with a uniform that fits. Have you ever paid attention to the ushers at the games showing you where your seats are? Well those guys uniforms never fit because some clown is throwing jackets at them when they show up for work. So it’s either too big where only the guys fingertips are showing or the jacket is too small where you don’t know whether to shake his hand or take his blood pressure. That’s what the replacements look like homeboy!

Now how do you think a cat is going to get the call right if the stripes on his shirt are making him sick because they keep moving? C’mon man! You gotta put the blame on the clowns sitting at the crib trying to force the NFL’s hand. How do you have the audacity to ask for more bread and a pension when you’re already making $8 grand a week on a part time hustle? Most of these guys already have big time jobs during the week with full benefits.

The most recognizable ref in the league because of his guns, Ed Hochuli, is a big time lawyer that's worth more than $5 million that makes more than $150K per year. Now duns like this want the NFL to pay him a pension for his part time hustle when they don’t even pay full time employee’s a pension. Most companies have gotten rid of pension programs altogether because they’ve done nothing but bankrupt industries. That’s why GM needed a bail out! They were paying too many folks a pension and couldn't sell cars fast enough to keep up with the pension demands. Why, because people are living longer. It’s simple math!!!

If the league gives these duns a pension they would have to give all employees a pension and long term that’s not good business. So the dull replacements it is. The longer these guys officiate games the more experience they’ll get and the better they’ll get and the NFL can pay them less money. Unfortunately, the change is hard to watch but I'm not mad at the NFL for letting the real refs sit at the crib! Take your fan hat off for a minute and look at it for what it is bruh! How can you get mad at a boy for being pushed into the fire and burning up. That’s like being mad at a kid that doesn’t know how to swim for drowning after some moron pushes him into the pool. The problem here is not the Dull Replacements, it's the greed on the part of the NFL Refs. I say let them sit and let Lil' Elbow and Spotta Man keep calling the games because it's great TV!

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport  

9/10's

"I got it! No I got it! I said I got it bruh!"

The phrase “Possession is nine tenths of the law” was derived from a Scottish expression “Possession is eleven points in the law, and they say there are but twelve.” In other words, the Gucci bag that you’re carrying is presumed to be yours unless someone can prove that you stole it. Or better yet, it is presumed to be real unless someone can prove that it’s fake because y’all know that 90% of these clowns are rockin’ the knock off with the knock off red bottoms to match. 

It’s supposed the work the same way in the NFL but I guess the replacement officials either didn’t grow up in the hood or simply missed that class. On Monday Night these duns made the worst call in the history of the game. On the last play of the game, to decide the game, the Seattle Seahawks put up a Hail Mary and the Packers clearly came down with the interception and Seattle's Golden Tate stuck his hand in there and was rewarded the football for the touchdown and the win.

It would have been different if they were even wrestling for it. He only had one arm in the mix and the dull replacements called it a touchdown. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Either all of these cats have glaucoma or are wearing pop bottle glasses with transition lenses. They must have graduated from the Helen Keller/Stevie Wonder/Blind Mellow Jelly Give Me Back My Daddy's Records school of officiating. You feel me? It’s amazing how many calls they’re blowing bruh! It has nothing to do with the speed of the game like most of the talking heads keep saying. These guys either can't see, just don’t know the rules or both!!

You learned in the 2^nd grade in the ghetto that possession was nine tenths of the law when Lil’ Man Man and Nem stole your sneakers out of your gym locker. When you told the principal that boyz got you for your shoes the first thing he or she said was “prove it.” How do I know that they’re your sneakers because he’s got them on?”  True dat! Point well taken.

So you went and got your older brothers(not twins), cousins and neighbors that were ALL in the 6^th grade to jump Lil’ Man Man & Nem after school in front of everybody. Why? Because a beat down has to occur in front of anybody that could potentially steal your joints later in life. The message has to be given soundly that possession is in fact nine tenths of the law so boyz never forget it. That’s why I stated earlier that the replacement refs couldn’t have possibly grown up in the hood because there is no way they would have given that ball to Golden Tate.

"Hey, we only have to do this 'til the new Jordan's come out!"

Now are the replacements killing the game? Not at all bruh! However, they are increasing the sale of new plasma TV’s because folks are throwing whole plates of food and beer at their existing televisions.  Fans are so upset and addicted to this game that they’d rather destroy the TV than to turn it off. It’s called being a "hype." I’m starting to see boyz scratching and walking up and down the streets with ashy lips because they want the regular officials back. Sadly, they’ll keep watching the replacements screw up because they’re fiends for the game.

The NFL knows that the fans aren’t going anywhere so that's why the replacements are working in the first place. So you've got two options bruh. You can either buy a net to put in front of your TV or go over to your neighbors house to watch the games next week because I’m convinced that these officials are really the managers at Footlocker in between Jordan's.

Real talk though, isn't it just like Pete Carroll to accept the win when everybody can see that the Packers clearly intercepted the pass. Yeah, we all know that the refs are struggling but to not step up and say that it was a terrible call is a form of cheating. You still get the win but at least say that it was bogus. By not saying a word even after watching the tape is shady. We all know that the replacements are in way over their heads but to hide apples in your pockets and run off of the field is like running out of the store without paying for your soda because the cashier missed it!

 Get off of the refs and hold Pete Carroll, Golden Tate and the Seahawks accountable for not having any integrity. Keep in mind that Ole Golden is the same cat that broke into a donut shop in the middle of the night when he was initially drafted and Pete left USC hangin' like a teen aged father leaving his girl at the free clinic. Why are we even surprised bruh?

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Gravity

"Oh yeah, make sure you spell it right bruh! We're B.A.C.K.!"

Sir Isaac Newton broke down one of the most profound quotes of all time when he said, “What goes up must come down”, when he discovered the Law of Gravity. The old timers always gave it to you like this, “Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll run into those same folks on the way down.” Even the Kingpin’s hustling in the streets understand that they can’t run it forever. It’s called preparing for the fall off because you can’t be on top forever. Boyz either die, go to jail or get smart enough to get out of the game but they know they can't stick around long. 

It works the same way in the world of college football. However, in this sport it’s more cyclical than anything. Programs get hot for a period of time and then something happens and they fall off only to come back years later. Florida State is a prime example of the resurrection of a program that was dominate and had completely fallen off and now looks to be BACK! With an impressive come from behind 48-37 win at the crib on national TV on Saturday night against high powered Clemson the Seminoles ARE BACK like Bobby Bowden, Dadgummit!!! EJ Manual put the boyz on his back and the Seminoles put up 35 2^nd half points to let the world now that Chief Osceola and Renegade are ridin’ high once again!

 Right before the college football season kicked off I wrote about how the game is cyclical and that SEC teams like Alabama and LSU wouldn’t win the title this year because of the natural order of college football. I’ve been saying on all of my Weekly College Football Previews and Wrap Ups that Florida State and West Virginia are my sleeper teams to get to the national title game in Miami because their schedules will allow them to run the table. Jimbo Fisher is killing both Florida and Miami on the recruiting trail because it's FSU's turn to drink from the fountain of prosperity. Miami has all kinds of problems right now and Florida has Will Muschamp that's still trying to figure out what Florida is. So it's just Florida State's turn on the merry-go-round bruh and they're handling their business at this point!

 I believe both LSU and Bama will get snake bitten in the SEC this year and lose a game. LSU almost went down to dull Auburn last night and Bama will lose at either LSU, Tennessee or both. Bama's secondary is suspect and the Vols throw the ball better than anybody in the SEC with Tyler Bray and Co. Tennessee doesn't play Bama until  October 20th so they'll have plenty of time to get the bugs out. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Nick Saban just put Alabama back on the map bruh! They’re dominant right now but keep in mind that coaches come and go and top talent shows up based on who's in charge. Before Saban arrived in Tuscaloosa the Tide hadn’t won a title since 1992. That’s the way it goes. Remember how dominant Miami was between ’83 and ’91 then they took a dip and came back in 2001 and won it all?

Oklahoma has had its share of runs with Bud Wilkinson (NCAA record 47 straight wins with 3 national titles) and Barry Swizter (3 national titles) got caught up with the worse week in OU history and was fired. Charles Thompson got arrested for selling dope to an undercover, three cats got charged with rape then a player shoots another over a cassette tape in the dorm all in one week. It wasn’t until Bob Stoops took over in ’99 that they got back to glory in 2000.  Now they’re struggling to be consistent losing to dull #15 Kansas State 24-19 on Saturday at the crib of all places. Turnovers will kill you every time.

The same thing is happening with Texas and Mac Brown right now as they're trying to get back on Bevo. USC was a powerhouse in the ‘60’s and ‘70’s then UCLA took over in the ‘80’s with all of those Terry Donahue led teams that seemed like they won the Rose Bowl every year.

USC got back on the Trojan Horse when Pete Carroll showed up in Hollywood until he ran out of town trying to get away from the NCAA and the whole Reggie Bush scandal. Ohio State was rolling under ole Jim Tressel but the hood tattoo parlor got in the way.Ain't that something, the hood always finds a way to bring a boy down.  Nebraska was unstoppable under Tom Osborne (retired) and Frank Solich ( got fired for going 9-3?) and now Bo Pelini is trying to get them back to prominence.

 Something always happens to derail the joint. Either the coach leaves for greener pastures, retires, gets fired because the level of expectation gets to big to keep up with or something goes terribly wrong. Either way, the party doesn’t last all night bruh. Somebody is going to start beefin’ and they’re going to have to clear the joint out and standing around in the parking lot isn't allowed.

Don’t think for one minute that ole Nick is going to Kissy (stay put) in Tuscaloosa bruh! He was rolling in Baton Rouge only to leave for the bread of the NFL only to return to the college game for even more bread. Let’s keep it real, Nick at some point will get bored and bounce because either he’ll need more bread, a challenge or both just like Steve Spurrier and Urban did at Florida.  Now I know ya'll don't believe Urban broke because of his health! I'm just sayin'! I grew up in the the "G" and I know when boyz disappear it ain't because they volunteered. How about the pressure to keep winning without Tebow and too many cats getting arrested as the real reason bruh. Just tell me the truth I can handle it. 

So as long as the game is cyclical I’ll enjoy watching Florida State and West Virginia get it in this year! I’m having a ball already and it’s only been 4 weeks. Stayed tuned as I continue to clown ole dull Gene Chizik and the Auburn Tigers on my Weekly Previews and Wrap Up videos because Sir Isaac Newton got turned on to something when that apple hit him in the head. 

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Pookie & Ray Ray

"Huh? I know it was them cuz I didn't let nobody else hold my wallet!" 

Sometimes being in the wrong place at the wrong time can cost you. Growing up in the hood you learn real quick how to look for hints that it's just not a good idea to be here. For example, when you're coming out the club early morning and boyz have been beefin' in the club all night it's time to get into your car and leave immediately. It's just not a good idea to hang around the parking lot talking because you know it's about to pop off. After one bad experience you know what that looks like so you avoid it going forward. It's called wisdom.

Regardless of a person's level of intelligence they possess a certain amount of wisdom because of there life experiences. So if that is the case, why does Pookie & Ray Ray keep getting blamed for everything. Now Vince Young is blaming these cats for spending all of his money too. T.O., Warren Sapp and Allen Iverson blamed them earlier this year for the same thing. What I can't understand is how does Pookie & Ray Ray keep hooking up with boyz with money and beating them out of it. They should be America's Most Wanted with that type of reputation bruh!

Vince is claiming that his former agent Major Adams and a financial planner Ronnie Peoples A.K.A. Pookie & Ray Ray from the Hustler's Firm of Bread, Scratch and Scrilla beat him out of all of his paper. Know what's crazy is that he's alleging that they misappropriated $5.5 million but after signing his rookie contract in 2006 he had $26 million in guaranteed money. Now I realize that nearly half of that goes to Uncle Sam, Pookie's half brother. So unless I can't count or Pookie & Ray Ray are magicians. It's a  family of skunks on the line wearing Gucci driving Bentley's sitting on 24's because that doesn't add up homeboy!

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! This clown is that fool and his money that Big Momma always talked about. According to reports this dun once bought all 120 seats on a Southwest Airlines flight from Nashville to Houston because he wanted to be alone. Then paid a cat $200 to carry his bags. I guess he was having a Prince Akeem Coming to America moment. Maybe he wanted to know what it would be like to use that little bathroom without having to close the door. Remember when your ole man would let you drive when you were a kid and he'd put you on his lap? That was ole Vince in the cockpit with the captain's hat on!

 Bruh, I know I'm good but I can't make this stuff up and it only gets better. Last year he got into an altercation at a strip club because the manager refused to convert $8,000 of his credit card into singles so that he could make it rain. He would also spend more than $5,000 a week at the Cheescake Factory taking teammates out to dinner.

 It's also been reported that he once spent $6,000 at TGI Friday's! Now that's enough bruh! It's impossible to spend that type of bread in Friday's because everything on the menu is $13 or less. He must have gone in there and bought all of the furniture, the sign out front and the strips on the building.

Man I've got to give it up to Pookie & Ray Ray. These boyz are always in the wrong place at the wrong time on a come up. It's like being in the hood all over again because everybody knows who's stealing the money and carjacking boyz but when the police show up nobody's seen a thing. Every time a pro athlete goes broke it's Pookie & Ray Ray's fault but nothing is being done about it and for that reason I'm outraged!

These guys are more of a  minis to society than O-Dog and Cain and I want answers now. They should be arrested on sight or at the very least they should share some of that bread with the rest of us. I mean, I would completely understand if you told me that they bought all 120 seats on the flight because they've got the money to ball out like that. What's crazy is that they keep getting more paper every year because some kid will sign a guaranteed contract that loves to hang out with them. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time seems to have it's advantages, at least for Pookie & Ray Ray.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport

Social Cowards

"Now you know they're about to eat you alive on Twitter? You know that right?"

The famous German writer and poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe(1749-1832) once wrote, “The coward threatens when he is safe.” The Roman poet Publius Ovidius Naso(43BC- AD17/18) known to the English speaking world simply as Ovid, gave it to us like this, “To wish for death is a coward’s part.” Boyz in the world of hip hop in the mid ‘90’s called those same coward’s, “studio gangsta’s” and Tupac was probably the most famous.

On Sunday Washington Redskins wide receiver Joshua Morgan let his emotions get the best of him when he got up and threw the football at the most aggravating defensive back in the NFL, Cortland Finnegan, during the closing moments of the game. I know y'all remember when Andre Johnson put a two piece and a biscuit on his plate a couple of seasons ago. So as a result, Morgan was hit with a 15 yard personal foul that essentially moved the Redskins out of field range. Since losing the ball game by 3 points fans have unloaded on his Twitter page this week.

He has received multiple death threats from all of these Twitter gangster’s that wouldn’t say a word to him if they ran into him at the mall. Boyz are real tough when they’re sitting in front of their computers at the crib. I’m just a regular cat and I get clowns cursing me out for saying something bad about their team in my Hot Joints. It always blows me away how folks can be a gangster when they know they’ll never have to man up on the threat.

When I was in college every now and then white kids would ride pass and holler the “N” word out of the car window as my boyz and I would be walking to class and just keep going. You just don’t know how much we wished that their cars would stall at the light. I remember some guys hollering it out of their dorm room window one day and we counted the windows up and over and knocked on their door. When they opened that joint you would have sworn that they saw a ghost or Big Foot or a big foot ghost. Talk about suddenly having amnesia! "Who me? I didn't...." Hilarious!  

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! How in the world can you be so wrapped up into a team that you have the audacity to threaten a man’s life because they lost? There are two things in this world that have caused men to be irrational since the beginning of time. They are sports and women.

I hope that the FBI can trace those tweets back to the clowns that sent them and charge them with a crime. At the very least allow Morgan and his boys to count the windows up and over and knock on their doors on live TV. Now that would be funny!

Look people, this is strictly entertainment! Don’t set your life to a freaking football game that human beings are playing. Just like you make mistakes on your job these players will make them on their jobs too. What if somebody threatened your life every time you forgot to put the fries in the bag bruh? Cut these boyz some slack and just sit down and enjoy the game for what it is. Win or lose you still have to go to work on Monday and provide for your family and stop trying to be a computer thug before somebody knocks on your door.

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Who's Playin' Who?

"What chu talkin' bout Willis?"

Robert Kiyosaki once wrote in the best selling book, Rich Dad Poor Dad, that his rich dad said, “People with leverage have dominance over people with less leverage.” On the streets it’s known as having all of the chips. Whoever sits on the chips makes the decisions bruh. The old school playa’s break it down this way, “Whoever has the most bread at the table dictates the conversation.

So why is everybody upset with Roger Goodell because the NFL is using replacement officials? Just like in both the NBA and NFL lockouts last year the league had all of the power! As long as fans continue to watch the game the NFL will continue to operate as normal. Why do you think Jerry Jones is the owner, president and general manager of the Dallas Cowboys? Why do the Cubs continue to lose every year? Because fans keep showing up and selling the joint out. They is no reason to make changes. 

All the real officials are doing is playing themselves by not working. Sure, being an NFL referee is a part-time job but the bread that these guys were making was ridiculous. They were pulling in $7 to $8K per week calling games. Now I’m not sure what else they wanted but if your making that type of bread on a side hustle that should be more than enough and Goodell knows that.

That’s why he and his boys are sitting in the cut. All the real officials are doing is allowing the replacement refs to gain NFL experience that will eventually give them enough experience to take these boyz jobs. Then they can pay them half the bread they were paying the original cats and keep it movin'. The league isn’t stupid bruh! Yes, the fans are complaining but they’re still watching it. That means absolutely nothing to the league. So what the games are taking longer. All they’ll do is sell more ad space on the additional time-outs. It’s strictly business!

It's dumb to get upset with the cat that was thrown into the fire for burning up. They can only do what they've been trained to do but they're making a boat load of bread for burning and if I were them it wouldn't make me a bit of difference that the fans are mad. These cats are getting $2G's a game for doing what they've been doing on the side for a $100! That's a come up no matter how you slice it homeboy!

The only cats that are suckers are the real officials at this point because they’re blowing a hole in their side hustle. The first rule of hustling found in the "Hustler's Code of Conduct" is to never get greedy with trying to get side money because it eventually gets in the way of the original hustle.

 I always trip off of folks that think that striking is the answer in this day and time. In reality, it hurts everybody involved. Just like the most recent strike in Chicago with the public school teachers. In that situation everybody suffers and especially the kids. Right now the Chi is the most dangerous city in America and these duns decide to go on strike? Now you’ve put thousands of kids on the streets with nothing to do in the middle of an ongoing gang war. They’re killing boyz in Chicago like they’re in full combat and the teachers decide that it makes sense to walk out.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! If the job isn’t paying you what you want to make or the benefits aren’t up to standards then you’ve got two options. You either deal with it or quit. That’s the decision that the rest of us in Corporate America have to make everyday. When you accepted the job they told you what the compensation was going to be. Even if they changed up on you midstream you’ve got those same two choices, you can either keep the job or quit. But to walk out and hold everybody hostage is dull! Because I'm quite sure not every teacher wanted to strike because it costing them money to sit at the crib and everybody isn't prepared to not get a pay check.

Not only are the fans suffering from having to watch longer games. The players to some degree are at risk of guys blowing calls that could get them hurt. At the same time the teachers are jamming everybody up and putting these kids at risk on the streets. Not only are they not getting paid, the kids are missing valuable classroom time and the parents of those kids are missing work especially if they’ve got young kids that they can’t just leave at home. So who’s playing who?

I’ll tell you one thing it’s not Roger Goodell’s fault that the replacement refs are on the field. If the real cats keep sitting in the cut trying to play hard ball, those guys that we’re calling replacements will become REAL NFL officials because they’re gaining valuable experience even while they screw up.  Believe me, if the Chicago School Board could have put replacement teachers in the classroom to teach those kids at half the level they would have. Because learning something is better than nothing and running the streets, especially in the Chi!!

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Ain't So Common

"How bout I just wear this to ref an NFL game? I think it looks cool!"

Thomas Edison once said, “The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick to-itiveness; third, common sense.” Ralph Waldo Emerson broke it down like this, “Common sense is genius dressed in working clothes.” Thomas Jefferson gave it to us this way, “I can never fear that things will go far wrong where common sense has fair play.” Big Momma just kept it real and said, “Common sense ain’t so common!”

Well it never got on the freaking bus when it came to replacement referee Brian Stropolo. This dun was suspended by the NFL for essentially being an idiot. He gets the chance of a lifetime to become an interim NFL official because of the referee lockout and he completely flushes it down the toilet.

He’s on his Facebook page in full Saints gear expressing his allegiance to the team as a lifelong fan. Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Every ref in the league is a fan of some team. You can’t love football enough to become a referee and not have a favorite team. The only difference is that they’re smart enough to keep it to themselves to keep their jobs. In my Huggy Low Down voice, "Brian Stropolo, you ARE the bama of the week, week, week!"

This clown is in full Saints garb talking about how great it’s going to be to call the Saints/Carolina game on September 16th. How dumb can grown folks be? However, you see it all of the time bruh! I’m always blown away by what GROWN folks put on their Facebook and Twitter pages. By the looks of what some people put up you would think that they were extremely wealthy and would never have to work another day in their lives.

It’s amazing how reckless people are with their careers/ jobs and relationships. As long as it costs money to live you should be vanilla in what you write down. The old timers always said, “Be careful what you say because once you say it you can’t control where it goes.”

 I spend enormous amounts of time explaining the concept of common sense to my teenager because all of his friends are on Facebook and Twitter now. Unfortunately, most kids and adults aren’t mature enough to handle the responsibility of knowing what to and not to write down on the Internet. Everything is a legal document bruh! That’s why gangsta’s have always had a rule of not writing anything down. If it’s not written down you can’t prove their involvement. More folks need to adopt that philosophy.

I’ve seen way too many people lose their jobs, marriages, get kicked out of school or even killed over a post or tweet gone bad. If you don’t learn anything else today use common sense and think before you hit send. Ask yourself two important questions while you’re typing. How will this post or tweet affect me and others if I send it and most importantly, can I lose my job? If it passes the litmus test on those two, send it. If not, erase it. That’s called using common sense bruh!!

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

"Don't Believe the Hype"

"Georgia runs away from a cup cake and moves up the polls! Really?"

In 1988 the socially conscious rap group Public Enemy released the hot single “Don’t Believe the Hype!” It quickly became the mantra for kids all across the country. Boyz would tell you in a minute “Don’t Believe the Hype” if you were getting ahead of yourself or falling for the Oaky Doke. The old timers just kept it 100 and said, “Don’t put the cart before the horse.” In other words slow down bruh!

Well… somebody needs to tell that to the AP voters that released the new College Football Top 25 this week. Now I completely understand why Alabama and LSU are ranked #1 and #2. They are clearly the best two teams in the country. However, how does last weeks #6 Georgia leap frog then #5 Oklahoma to become #5 this week after blowing the doors off of dull Florida Atlantic and the Sooners didn’t even play?

It’s called believing the hype of the SEC! Last week I wrote the Hot Joint entitled "The Myth of the SEC" explaining to boyz why both Alabama and LSU were simply carrying that conference. SEC fans went crazy on my Twitter account(@jaygravesreport) calling me a hater, delusional and jealous. The truth hurts and I can understand that bruh but stop me when I start lying. Like I keep saying, “The SEC has catfish like every other conference!” Stop taking credit for being in the same conference as the two top teams. You can't spend your rich brothers money homeboy. 

You simply can not justify how a team can play a cup cake and jump over another team that didn’t even play. Simple logic would say that those two teams at a minimum would remain in the same spots. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Georgia is Mark Richt’s Georgia bruh! They are probably one of the most hyped and under achieving programs in college football annually. In my Huggy Low Down voice, “Waaaait for it.” They’ll fall apart sooner rather than later.

Since I’m keeping it real, like I always do, here lately Oklahoma is the second most under achieving joint within the last 6 or 7 years too. However, they’ve won more games than any other program in the history of the college football since 1950 and picked off 5 Heisman’s and 7 National Championships in the process. So they've at least got some credence. I know because that’s my team. They’ve been dull lately but they don’t deserve to fall in the polls until they lose or at least look bad in a sloppy win.

Y’all know how I do. Ima always be honest or I’m not going to write it. Quit trying to make folks believe that the SEC is this powerful conference from top to bottom because it simply isn’t true. Don’t just throw boyz into the Top 10 so that clowns that don’t know any better will believe the hype. You know darn well Georgia and South Carolina aren’t top 10 teams.

South Carolina struggled with Vanderbilt in week 1. If that had been a school from any other conference they would’ve fallen out of the top 10 so fast it wouldn’t have been funny. Now I never thought that I’d be defending both Notre Dame and Texas because I hate them both. However, based on what they’ve done so far they should be in the top 10 easy. I almost threw up in my mouth admitting that but I’ve got to keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st!  West Virginia should easily be ahead of both South Carolina and Oklahoma as well.

These sports writers must not be watching the same games that I’m watching because the AP Top 10 is a joke right now. My Top 10 looks like this after 3 weeks:

1. Alabama
2. LSU
3. Oregon
4. West Virginia
5. Florida State
6. Oklahoma
7. Stanford
8. USC
9. Notre Dame
10. Texas

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Parable of the Hot Seat

"You think these boyz really gone fire me? Yep!"

A parable is succinct story in prose or verse that illustrates one or more instructive principles. It’s a type of analogy, if you will. Jesus used them all the time when trying to teach valuable lessons. He would use them to break down everyday events like the aftermath of an old school roadside carjacking in the parable of the Good Samaritan. He explained how a traveler got the breaks brakes beat off of him, was left for dead and no one helped him until the Samaritan came by and looked out.

Down at Auburn I bet there are few parables being spoken this morning on why ole Gene Chizik should be run out of town after having to go to overtime with dull Louisiana Monroe. Auburn finally put them away in overtime 31-28. It was like the old parable of the fox and hens in Jordan-Hare stadium on Saturday. The Warhawks chased them boyz around the chicken coop eating their baby chicks and eggs all day. They nearly beat Auburn is every phase of the game and by the looks of the box score Auburn actually lost that ball game.

 ULM was better at 4^th down efficiency, passing yards, less penalties,  no turnovers to Auburn's 4 and they had better time of possession doing all of  that with a hang over bruh! Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Louisiana Monroe showed up in Auburn still drunk from last week’s partying after beating then #8 Arkansas. Those boyz hadn’t even taken a shower because of all of the excitement.

Then they nearly pulled off the upset of another SEC team? It only would have been an upset because Auburn is a so-called big time school. However, in reality they’re horrible this year and were coming in 0-2. Man it would have been pandemonium if they could have finished them off. It also would have been like a boy giving his two week notice in Corporate America. You know as soon as you say you’re leaving they call security to walk you out of the joint right then and there. They would have walked ole Gene right to his car from the sideline after the game.

They would have said, “Don’t even worry about it playa! We’ll address the team for you and we’ll send you all of your belongings. As a matter of fact, where do you want us to fly you to right now because going home may not be a good idea?” If he decides to go home in that situation his wife and neighbors will be out there loading up the U-Haul like Umpa Lumpa’s. The realtor will be putting the “For Sale” sign out front all while the neighborhood kids are throwing eggs at the joint. Pandemonium for real bruh!

"Uh huh coach this way!"

This is the same dun that got booed a few years ago when they hired him after going 5-7 at Iowa State. Then he got “lucky” and signed Halle Berry and won a national title. I call Cam Newton Halle because everybody was trying to get with him at the time. He could have dated anybody but he chose Gene Chizik and Auburn. That saved his job for the time being but now he’s back to being ole dull Gene and losing.

Yeah, I can hear the old timers sitting on Toomer’s corner this morning kicking cans up and down the street looking at those dead trees cursing like sailors about getting rid of him. They’re screamin’ about how they never should have hired him in the first place. The old lady’s in the coffee shop are cursing just as bad smoking the old school Benson and Hedges Light cigarettes because folks down in those parts take college football very seriously. Domestic violence went up 300% overnight with fiesty ole lady's beating up their husbands and the jail was full of Otis' from the Andy Griffin show. Yep you can pretty much stick a fork in ole Gene right now homeboy. He’ll be standing up for the rest of the season because that seat is on fire and like I always say, "Stop me when I start lyin’!"

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Giggles & Kicks

"Didn't we tell you to come here like 7 times?"

Like I’ve stated in the past, don’t just look at the results section of the clinical study. Most importantly, you’ve got to pay close attention to the methods and statistical analysis. That means that you have to look at the how’s and why’s bruh! Any time you see results, good or bad, there is a reason for them. Don’t jump off of the deep end before you understand them.

On Monday every Bears fan I know was screamin’ Super Bowl from the top of their lungs because they beat worst team in the league from a year ago. Then they showed up at Lambeau Field to play the Packers and got the brakes beat off of them 23-10.  It’s like getting excited about beating your 10 year old son in a game of basketball in the drive way. Then LeBron comes over and keeps you from even touching the rock let alone getting a decent shot off. Remember, it’s a long season and teams will have highs and lows. It happens. You’re team isn’t going to look good every week. The key is to win far more than you lose.

With all of that patting on the back mu mu talk I just gave you, y'all know I gotta do what I do! Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Dwight Howard has passed the baton to Jay Culter as my new Buster Brown during football season! In my Denny Green voice, “HE IS WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS!” He’s an emotional wreck that can’t lead his team. Early in the ball game when the Bears were only down 0-3 with 8:17 left in the half ole boy lost it and cost them the game.

He cursed out his rookie left tackle J’Marcuss Webb and then shoved him. I know y’all saw that young boy give him that look like, “Man if I wasn’t at work I would mop this cat but since I’ve got to eat Ima chill.” Also Webb thought about Big Momma back home watching it on TV and how proud she was of her baby so he took it on the chin.

 Winning championships is a very delicate task to perform bruh! It’s like doing open heart surgery. You have to keep everything in front of you and you can’t turn the engine off even if it gets tough. Your quarterback has to always remain calm during times of adversity and be able to encourage the cats around him when the joint goes bad. You never see Payton, Eli, Tom Brady or Drew Brees cursing boys out on the sideline and trying to fight. Why? Because they understand that they are the leaders of the team and if they lose it the team will lose it both figuratively and literally.

You know they feel like getting at boyz from time to time but it will only make things worse especially during the course of the game. After Culter flipped out on his left tackle they went on to give up 7 sacks and he threw 4 picks. Why? Because Culter not only got into the rookie’s head but he got into his own skull. It’s a wonder he didn’t get himself killed out there. Cursing out the guy that has to protect your back side is like Obama not paying the secret service then telling them to deal with it and saying you better be at work on time tomorrow. It’s like screamin’ at the waitress before she brings you your food bruh. That’s suicide!

If you still think the Bears will still make it to the Super Bowl after that display of foolishness you're smoking, inhaling, injecting, snorting and bathing in dope. Some things are correctable problems but having a quarterback that just doesn’t get isn’t one of them. If you don’t have a leader of men on the field all you’ve got is 11 cats playing sand lot football drawing up plays in the dirt.

“Brandon, I need you to run 10 yards to Miss Latie’s tree and then turn around. Alshon, I need you to run to Mr Willie's duece and a quarter and come across the middle. Forte, I need you run straight down the street as fast as you can and I’ll hit you. The rest of y’all better block!” That’s what the Bears are doing out there right now bruh!

Now lets look at the carnage for what it is. Forte has an ankle sprain that will bother him for the reason of the season. He’s a running back for crying out loud, those joints never heal during the season. Urlacher, who is the emotional leader of that defense, is old and banged up already.  Finally, you don’t have a quarterback with the capacity to lead. Super Bowl is not in your DNA this year because other teams have what it takes to perform the surgery. So at this point you're just playing for Giggles & Kicks!

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Straight Gangsta

"Play Like A Gangsta Today"

Growing up in the hood has its advantages and being able to understand how gangsta’s operate is one of them. Understanding how to politic the system can be the difference between being able to walk home safety and not. My high school was the ocean that fed into two lakes of street gangs, GD Folks and One Way. Now in order to keep your shoes, hats and lunch money you had to either be affiliated or smart enough know all of the lieutenants that made sure that boyz looked out for you. Now these cats ran the streets but it still didn’t change the fact that many of them ended up dead at very young ages or in jail for the rest of their lives. It looked cool on the surface but at the end of the day they still lost.

Even in the world of college football we run into that same gangsta hangin' around the band room taking advantage of boyz that can’t defend themselves. Notre Dame showed up in the ACC with a do rag on, the flat bib cocked strong to the left with a blue and gold bandanna hangin’ out of it’s left back pocket. They checked everybody in the room and said, “We’re in this joint with all sports but football but we’ll play 5 games a year in the ACC on our terms. We’ll let you boyz host a home game from us once every 6 years and that’s how it’s doing down so you can tell ya momma that or not!”

 It was like the cat that used to walk in and just take some young punks lunch money or better yet, he would let him stand in line for it and then take his lunch and his hat as he went to sit down. Am I mad at Notre Dame for punking the ACC? Absolutely not! Does Notre Dame have the power to do just what they did? Absolutely! They are still a very popular brand in the world of college football because of it's alumni base. They’ve got so much pull that they essentially told their wife to be cool with the fact that they’ve got a girlfriend and as a matter of fact, they want them to go shopping together to build a deeper bond.

These duns are doing what Big Momma called back in the day, shackin’! I want to look like I’m in a conference but I want to keep my options open. So I’m not going to commit all the way. However, I want to come through and hang out with my women as I see fit. Straight Gangsta do you hear me bruh? And I’m not mad at them because they've got the power to do it.

Unfortunately, the life of a gangsta always ends tragically. They completely punk’d the ACC and got what they wanted but it still doesn’t change the fact that they’ll fire Brian Kelly in another year or so because he can’t win at the level that they expect him to. Notre Dame’s goal is to go to BCS Bowls and win National Championships. You need horses to do that. As I explained years ago in the Hot Joint "The Most Delusional Program In Sports" they’re administration still thinks that it’s 1945 and it’s still a premiere football program and it not! Especially not to 18 year old All-American recruits. The best kids in the country no longer want to play at Notre Dame bruh!

They haven’t won a title since 1988 and there isn’t a kid playing football right now that was even alive to see it. Secondly, when coaches pull up the top 150 players in the country, state schools that are powerhouses like USC, Oklahoma, Alabama, LSU, Ohio State etc can talk to all 150 of them. ND can only talk to 30 of them because of  it's academic standards and they'll be lucky to sign 1 or 2 of them. Where as, USC will sign 15 or 20 per year. The Trojans have already gotten commitments from 12 of the top 150 for 2013 and it's still early.

 I remember a couple years ago when Florida was rollin’ they sighed 13 of the top 50 players in the country. ND can’t beat schools like that because they simply have better players. So they can gangsta boyz all day but they’ll continue to flounder around and fire coaches because of the lack of success on the field. If they don't lower the standards they've got to be cool with going 8-4 annually! However, Notre Dame is so delusional they think that they can win titles in today's BCS era and it won't happen because you've got to basically run the table and at best have one loss in order to do it. That ain't gonna happen in South Bend!

They’re going to take 5 “L’s” this year starting this weekend with #10 Michigan State because they’ve got opponents scheduled that just have better players from top to bottom than they do. Not only are they going to East Lansing Saturday they’ve got Miami in Chicago, #5 Oklahoma in Norman, #17 Michigan at home and #2 USC in LA. Now after that carnage Brian Kelly will either get fired or be on the hot seat because ND just doesn’t get it! You can’t be a football powerhouse and an academic powerhouse at the same time! Duke can do it because they only have to sign 3 guys per year on average. In football you're signing 25 per year. You're not going to find 25 All-Americans with the grades that WANT to go to Notre Dame all at the same time! They simply can’t occupy the same space. It’s impossible. You can’t ever be a gangsta and win!  Just ask some of the cats that I grew up with. That’s if they’re still breathing pimpin'.

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport   

Slow Ya Roll

Hey you guys don't talk too much trash just yet! Remember, we are the Bears!"

Proverbs 27:1 says, “Don’t boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.”  The pimps down at the car wash break it don’t this way, “Don’t write a check that yo butt can’t cash homeboy.” Big Momma always brought it to you real gentle like, “Don’t put yourself out there like that baby because once you open your mouth you can't control where it goes.”

Why can’t boyz understand that when it comes to this thing we call sports or more specifically the NFL? The Chicago Bears win one game and cats are screamin’ from the roof tops that they’re going to the Super Bowl. Pump ya brakes and slow ya roll bruh! They beat the Indianapolis Colts. The same team that went 2-14 last season. The same team that had the worst record in the league and got the first pick in the draft. They’ve got a rookie quarterback, a new coach, new offensive and defensive coordinators and they pretty much gutted the joint to start over. That team bruh! You were supposed to beat them and you were playing at the crib!

Don’t put the boyz in the Super Bowl just yet because you beat some cats that will probably win 4 or 5 games all year. There are 16 regular season games to play and then the playoffs. Keep in mind that Jay Cutler is still the quarterback that has a Roy Jones Jr. glass chin. If you don’t protect him he’s going down very easily. Also keep in mind that the anchor of your defense, Brian Urlacher, is 34 years old and banged up going into the season. Lastly, Brandon Marshall is still a head case and might just do anything.  Take your heart out of it, do you really think these duns can beat San Fran, New York  or Atlanta down the stretch to even get to New Orleans? Absolutely not! After all, they are Chicago bruh. History says that they’ll sputter into the playoffs and lose awkwardly like that typically do. Fact!!!!!

I keep hearing all of the so-called talking heads saying that Philly is going to make it to the promise land too. Now unless they’re going to put Michael Vick in a hit proof uniform they don’t have a door to door Avon salesman’s chance in the ghetto of making it out alive. Without Vick on the field they that team is a shell of itself and that dun can’t stay healthy because he’s reckless with his body.

Don’t jump off of the roof and put yourself out there just because it’s your team bruh. Look at it for what it is. Be honest with yourself and stop being the delusional cat that nobody wants to watch the games with. At least be realistic with your predictions. Your team isn’t always going to be good and they can't make it to the Super Bowl every year.  

I keep hearing all of the Cowboys fans yelling to the top of their lungs that this is their year because they went up to New York and beat the doors off of the Giants. You won one freaking game bruh. It’s not like you went on an 8 game win streak to close out the season. You won the opening game. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! As long as Jerry Jones lives and eats in Dallas you won’t win because he wants to be Willie Wanka and make all of the decisions all of the time.

Just sit in the cut and watch the season play itself out. Don’t start making predictions about the Super Bowl now because you have no idea how good any of these teams are just yet.  Here’s a quick piece of advice bruh. Don’t start talking trash now because when your boyz go down at the end of the year you won’t have to call off work to avoid getting blasted by all of the people you’ve been talking strong to all year.  I’m just trying to keep you from looking stupid in December or January because I’m you’re boy!

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport