Fienin'

"I got the shakes now bruh!"

All it takes is one time to get hooked! Then cats are willing to sell everything they have and even stuff that doesn't belong to them just to get that feeling again. That's how drug addicts operate. They want it so bad that they lose their minds to keep getting it. Well it works the same way with success too! Once you taste it you lose your mind and are willing do everything possible to keep repeating the sensation of being the best.

So I guess LeBron has turned into Frankenstein now because he looked like a dope fiend monster when they gave him that ring last night! Look for this cat to come out of the lab as a straight up beast this year! He's about to be like a boy strung out on heroin, crack, PCP or mushrooms cuz he's about to tear the joint up looking for another title! He's like a mole because he doesn't need eyes to see the title anymore, he can smell it! Fiends are dangerous and when they're 6'8" 260 that can play all five positions and run the floor like a gazelle, they're devastating bruh!

 I know that all of the haters choked on the Miami Heat’s big ring shaped pill last night. Boyz have been in denial for so long that when the reality of the Heat getting the hardware actually occurred they were sick. For so long clowns have been thinking that the best player on the planet wouldn’t win a title. How would that even be possible bruh? The best player in the world not ever win the title? Straight haterism!

Well the Heat put the bling on and hoisted the banner and then got down to business by beating the Boston Celtics 120-107 on opening night. It was good seeing LeBron and Co. get the hardware just to put boyz on notice that it’s about to be a long 3 or 4 years for the rest of the NBA, Lakers included!

As much as I like Kevin Garnett he pulled a chump move last night by not hollerin’ at Ray Allen as he tried to acknowledge him as he was going into the ball game. I know KG plays with a lot of fire that’s why I got love for that dun. However, sometimes I will admit that he’s way over the top with looking for a reason to be mad. Sometimes this cat just makes stuff up in his head to be upset about to get him going. That’s cool but Ray is his boy! You can’t spend that much time with a cat and then just turn it off.  C’mon bruh that’s fake or how we used to say on the yard in GOMAB terms, “Charge Card!”

Let’s keep it real of all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! They needed each other to win the only title that the two on them have. So if nothing else there is love on that level alone. Now that a boy has moved on you don’t know him? That’s a clown move bruh! KG’s my guy but I gotta call him out for that one! I’ve been riding hard with him since his days with Ronnie Fields, who was the best player on that team, at Farragut Academy in Chicago. I’m waiting on the “30 for 30” on that stud, homie. He was probably the best player you've never heard of! So we go back for enough for me to blast ole boy for being a buster when he puts on the clowns shoes.

Ole Ray Ray let ‘em know that he’s still got it too. His first shot was a corner three just to mark his territory for the season. Obviously they didn’t believe that the fat meat was still greasy because he lit them up for 19 points.  Boyz better watch out this year because the Heat finally has a bench.

Now Ima keep it real, if the Lakers can stay healthy all year they’re a complete match up problem for the Heat because of Dwight Howard and Paul Gasol. The Heat still have no inside game and don’t have an answer for the two 7 footers bruh! However, I’m still not convinced that Dwight Howard can play with Kobe. Dwight is "Buster Brown" and is soft. Kobe is going to ride him all season to get the best out of him and I just don’t think Dwight can handle the pressure.

Kobe is a like the old cat of the job that is about to retire that lost his filter two years ago or like Uncle Willie that’s 88 and could care less if he hurts your feelings. That dun is going to say anything and you know he doesn’t care what you think of him. Dwight is that dude that wants everybody to like him and that ain’t gonna fly in LA, not playing with Kobe.

I think that Oklahoma City took a hit at least for this year letting “The Beard” go. They needed that guaranteed 20 points that they let go to Houston but I understand. I think that James Hardin played himself by not staying in OKC because the difference in the bread was minuscule and if you keep winning you’ll make up the difference in endorsements.

Where else can you get starter money, starter love from the fans, starter game time and role player pressure? He gets all of the benefits of being a starter without the pressure and the criticism that comes with it. Boyz forgot all about him taking a smoke break in the Finals last year and never coming back. Why? Because he wasn’t a starter! Westbrook took all of the "Heat" literally! Now all the pressure is on him to be the man in Houston and I don’t think that he’s ready for that!  Harden and Lin in the back court? In my Huggy Low Down voice, “Wait for it!” I seriously don’t think so!!!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

College Football Weekly Wrap Up: Week 9

Why #SonnerNation is looking for the #NotreDame mascot! Hilarious Read "Real Leprechaun Talk" http://bit.ly/Vww1uA 


Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport

Real Leprechaun Talk

"Y'all too late bruh! The Echoes are wide awake!"

Growing up in the hood you learn real quick that you have to keep your head on a swivel at all times, especially in the ride. Never pull up at a stop light at night without surveying all three mirrors the entire 30 seconds that the car is sitting. One mistake could cost you your car and your life because boyz will come out of nowhere and jack you.

Well the Oklahoma Sooners felt the same way on Saturday night in Norman when they pulled up at Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium. They were paying attention like the big homie’s taught them but only for 28 of the 30 seconds and Notre Dame came out of the bushes and shocked them 30-13. Now the final score wasn’t indicative of the great defensive battle that occurred in Norman. There were only two big offensive plays all night long but they were both from Notre Dame. In a game of that magnitude that's all it takes too.

Cierre Woods caught boyz sleepin’ on a dive play that went 62 yards for a touchdown, the longest play for the Irish all season, to go up 7-3 with 6:24 left in the 1st quarter. After a great defensive flurry of only giving up field goals on both sides the Sooners tied the ball game 13-13 with 9:10 remaining in the game.

All of a sudden the Notre Dame Leprechaun car jacked the Sooner Schooner and head up I-35 North going a 100 mph when Everett Golsen launched a 50 yard bomb down the middle of the field to set up the go ahead touchdown to make it 20-13 that essentially broke the back of Sooner Nation!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Notre Dame is the real deal! That was the best defense I’ve seen since the Alabama defense in the national title game. These boyz are not playing and the Irish coaching staff is even better. They have so much confidence in that defense that they were willing to give OU everything in front of them and allow them to get into the Red Zone where they only give up points 21% of the time.

That’s what I call cocky but when you have a beast like Manti Te’o running the show and boyz are responding to him you can do that. I didn’t give the Irish a nerd’s chance in the ghetto pushing a Bentley with the windows down and doors unlocked to come out of Norman alive bruh! However, they came through, ate all of the Billy Sims BBQ without leaving a tip all while kicking over the tables, beat up the ole timers in the boot shop taking all of the exotics joint they could carry, put ND jerseys on all of the Will Rogers statues in the state and bounced!

Everett Golsen, who had been responsible for 7 of the 8 turnovers all season played with ice water in his veins homeboy! He didn’t make a mistake all night long and that was the difference maker. They played the perfect game on both sides of the ball. Notre Dame had no turnovers and only 1 penalty for only 5 yards all night. Who does that? On the ROAD bruh? You can’t hate on that even if you wanted to. On some real talk, they dominated the game from the word go. OU just held on to the rope until the knot came lose in the 4th quarter! That's real Leprechaun talk in the barber shop pimpin'!

NOTRE DAME IS BACK! As much as it pained me to watch them take advantage of my beloved Sooners I can’t hate! They ARE THE REAL DEAL and I would love to see that defense continue to get better and keep winning! The ole timers taught me that you have to support the team that beats you because if they keep winning it makes you look better! So Go Irish! SMH and throwing up at the same time!

Y’all know because I live in Indiana I’ll be looking for that darn Leprechaun to get our Sooner Schooner back this week. I just hope that it’s not trashed because it was full of women and beer when it turned the corner out of the stadium onto to Jenkins Ave. headed for the expressway bumpin' that "Wake Up The Echoes." Those two white ponies’, Boomer and Sooner, can’t take the cold weather so be a sport and return it ASAP! You got the win so give us the ride back it's only fair!

Once again congrats on the huge road win but I thought that Touchdown Jesus didn’t travel to road games. Boyz must have snuck him into the stadium last night because it was a magical win for the Irish! The Echoes were awake and singing all over Norman spilling Irish beer everywhere!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

The Carter

"I know Big Momma is cursing & crying right now bruh!"

The old timers would always say, “A hard head makes a soft bottom!” Big Momma would give it to us like this, “Y’all don’t believe that fat meat is greasy!” The old pimps in the hood would break it down where boyz could understand it, “Once you bump your head enough in these streets you’ll figure it out.”

Well it looks like the Honey Badger, Tyrann Mathieu, has bumped his head enough in Baton Rouge and still hasn’t figured it out! On Thursday he and three other former LSU players including former quarterback Jordan Jefferson were arrested of drug charges. Mathieu, Jefferson and Karnell Hatcher were charged with simple possession of marijuana while Derrick Bryant was charged with possession with intent to distribute.

The police were called to Mathieu’s apartment after a man, who later turned out to be Jordan Jefferson, forced his way into the security gate. When the Honey Badger answered the door the cops smelled a strong odor of weed! When asked by the police if they could come in the Badger agreed. Stop right there bruh! First of all, why are you still smoking weed and your football future has already been compromised? Boyz aren’t trying to mess with you like that anymore anyway because of your recent problems. So why not do what you're supposed to do? I guess making a living playing a sport that you’ve been playing for free isn’t appealing to you huh?

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st!  If you know you’re up in the joint “wrong” why are you answering the door? Secondly, why would you give them permission to search the joint when you’ve got a marijuana grinder, a digital scale and 10 bags of high grade marijuana, including 7 in Bryant’s backpack? Let’s be honest pimpin', these boyz aren’t just smoking weed!

 The police were being generous to Jordan Jefferson and the Honey Badger on those dull simple possession charges. How is Bryant the only cat charged with possession with intent to distribute for having 7 bags in his backpack and the Badger has all of that in his crib? They aren’t about to smoke 17 bags of weed unless Snoop and Wiz Khalifa are coming through and they'll still need Cheech & Chong to come in and bat clean up.

Let me be as clear as Vodka on this. A boy with a drug problem doesn't need to measure it to use it. He’s gettin’ his small scale campus connection Nino Brown on and his joint was the Carter! I was just waiting for Pookie to come running out of the back of the joint.

I know you’re asking yourself why is Jordan Jefferson still in Baton Rouge?  It’s like this bruh, he still wants to be relevant and being on that campus is the only place in the world that he is. His football career is over and he’s afraid to go out into the real world and be a normal cat. So he’ll hang around LSU until boyz get too young to know who he is. Then he’ll be that dude that used to play ball there. We’ve seen it happen a million times over. I graduated from college 22 years ago and from time to time when I go back to the yard some dun that used to be the man is still hanging around trying to be relevant. That’s Jordan Jefferson and soon to be Tyrann Mathieu! So dull!

Normally I try to give some insight as to why a boy made the decision’s that got them into trouble but I’ve got nothing for you on this one bruh! These cats are old enough to know better. They can’t say that they don’t know any better or that the hood made them do it because they’ve been in the program for 3 or 4 years and have even completed their eligibility. So they've been around enough coaches, administrators and faculty that have given them the blueprint for success! If nothing else just turn on some Jay-Z because he'll break it down in hood terms!

 So whatever the hood gave you are instincts but you’re old enough to understand what is acceptable and what isn’t. No more excuses!  This is grown man business now!  Like Uncle Willie at barber shop used to say, “You made your bed, now you gotta sleep in it homeboy!”

Holla AtYa Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

The Big Payback

"The Clash of the Titans"

Muhammed Ali once said, “Champions aren’t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside of them—a desire, a dream, a vision.” Jimmy Connors gave it to us like this, “I hate to lose more than I love to win!” Vince Lombardi broke it down like a real G and said, “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing” and “If winning wasn’t important, why do they keep score?”

The cat that said, “It’s not important as to whether you win or lose but it’s how you play the game” only said that to make himself feel better about losing. Winning is the only reason that the game is played. In the world of college football winning tradition doesn’t get any bigger than Notre Dame and Oklahoma! This Saturday two monster programs meet in Norman for the first time since 1966. “The Clash of the Titans!”

As much as it sickens me to say it but when Notre Dame is good, college football is even better. When historic programs are good it raises the level of play all over the country. When these two powerhouses take the field on Saturday night you’ll witness two of the most accomplished programs of all-time squaring off.

There will be 18 national championships (ND 11 vs. OU 7), 13 Heisman trophies (ND 7 vs. OU 5), 171 Consensus All-Americans (ND 96 vs. OU 75), 778 NFL draft picks (ND 421 vs. OU 357) and 1,678 wins (ND 857, 3rd all-time vs. OU 821, 6th all-time) between the two programs represented. This is big time college football at its finest bruh!

Over the history of the Notre Dame/Oklahoma match up the Fighting Irish have won 8 of the 9 ball games ever played. Most notably on November 16, 1957 Notre Dame showed up in Norman and ended the Sooners 47 game win streak which was the longest in the history of college football by winning 7-0. Also the last time the Irish visited Sooner Nation in 1966 they blew the doors off of Oklahoma 38-0 en route to a national title.

Well they come in undefeated again and ranked 5th in the country but this is not your father's Notre Dame bruh! Boyz like the 4 Horseman, Rocket Ishmail, Paul Hornung & Tim Brown won’t be running out of the tunnel. Things have changed over the years and the very best cats aren’t playing in South Bend anymore. History is great to look back on but in my Janet Jackson voice, “What have you done for me lately?” Bill Parcells said it best, “No matter how much you’ve won, no matter how many games, no matter how many championships, you’re not winning now, so you stink!”

Notre Dame will figure out real quick that beating a bunch of awful Big 10 teams, robbing Stanford by going through their pockets right in front of Touchdown Jesus and struggling to get by dull BYU isn’t enough to come into Sooner Nation in 2012 and even keep it close! Bob Stoops is 79-4 at the crib, have had 59 players drafted under his watch, have won 7 Big 12 titles and delivered 2 Heisman's  in 14 seasons in Norman! Since 1950 Oklahoma has won more games than any other program in the nation! They've also been ranked #1 for more weeks (101), #2 (199), #5(383) and #10(537) more than any other program in the history of college football along with winning 43 conference championships. So we know something about winning too bruh! Believe me, boyz are salivating the payback for ending the "Streak." Yeah, it was a long time ago but it’s Oklahoma and folks don’t forget things like that around here.

So let me send my condolences in advance and make sure you send dental records because when the smoke clears on Saturday night you may not be able to recognize these boyz. I’m not a prophet but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night! However, I’ve got great news for Irish fans! I just saved 15% on my car insurance! Boomer! Sooner!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

College Football Weekly Preview: Week 9!

Top 5 Ball Games of the Week: Week 9
1) #2 Florida vs #10 Georgia
2) #14 Texas Tech vs #3 Kansas State
3) #11 Miss State vs #1 Alabama
4)  #20 Texas A&M vs Auburn
5) #5 Notre Dame vs #8 Oklahoma

The War Zone II

Benji Wilson, the best high school player in the country was shot dead in 1984.

For the past couple of years I’ve been riding hard for LeBron to get over the hump and win a title. I’ve been in his corner not because I’m from Akron or Cleveland or because I even know the cat. I’ve been riding for him because I saw LeBron James before he was even born. He was Ben Wilson from the south side of the Chicago at Simeon High School back in 1984. 

I’m quite sure everybody saw the 30 for 30 joint entitled “Benji” last night. Well I grew up just 10 minutes from the south side of Chicago in Gary, In. and it was my senior year in high school when Ben Wilson was murdered. We were just about to go on Thanksgiving break when he was killed. He was the best player in the country playing on the best team in the country and was gunned down right across the street from the school. That shook the entire Chicagoland area for a long time bruh. The best player in the country shot and killed bruh? That's not supposed to happen but it did!

From that point on I’ve always pulled for guys coming out of the hood to make it because nothing is promised. That’s why it blows my mind that so many people that have grown up or are currently growing up in the war zone are hating on so many of our athletes and are pulling for them to fail. It’s not promised that a boy will make it even if they are the best in the country! So when they do make it, you’ve got to ride with them because you share a common bond. "The Hood!" You understand what they’ve gone through to make it to this point. Now if you understand what they’ve gone through and you’re still hatin’ you’re a straight up buster and your ghetto pass should be revoked for life. That's Real Talk!

Why wouldn’t you want to see a cat succeed? The hood is the hood I don’t care where you’re from and the dangers are always present. Boyz did everything to protect Benji but it happened anyway. Cats don’t get it, he was the “Chosen One” before there was ever a young stud from Akron. Benji was that dude and we never got to see him play on the next level. More importantly, he never got to see his child grow up and never had a chance to become all that he was supposed to become. However, God doesn’t make mistakes so it turned out the way it was supposed to. Benji made his impact and moved on. 

So my point in this whole joint is to tell boyz to stop hatin’ on cats for being good and support them because they represent all of the youngsters that never made it out of the war zone. They are carrying the torch for all of those families that have lost a loved one to the violence in the streets whether they were an athlete or not. To see potential go unfulfilled is the worse feeling in the world bruh. 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! To even make it out of the hood and be productive on any level is a blessing. Folks that have grown up in the suburbs have no idea what you’ve gone through just to sit at the same table as them in Corporate America or in professional sports. Life was easy for them so I understand why they just don’t get it. Not only does a kid in the ghetto have to be good. They have to be good in the mist of the war zone. Not only do they have to perfect their craft but they have go to class and study all while dodging the land mines on the way to the crib everyday because not everybody wants to see them succeed.   

It still upsets me when I hear sports talk show hosts that have never set one foot inside the war zone blasting our athletes for the mistakes or the decisions that they’ve made without even trying to understand why. Unfortunately, they didn’t see all of the Big Momma’s praying, all the coaches from youth league through high school and the hood looking out for these kids in the process. So the next time you want to hate on a boy think about the greatness that was cut down in Chi-town’s Benji Wilson and maybe you'll have a different perspective and stop yourself! 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

College Football Weekly Wrap Up: Week 8!

Formalities

"It's not you bruh! We beat everybody like that!"

Coach John wooden once said, “Winning takes talent, to repeat takes character.” The great Vince Lombardi gave it to us like this, “Winning isn’t everything but wanting to win is!” In one of the most famous coaching rants of all time Denny Green said, “They are who we thought they were! If you wanna crown ‘em then crown their ass!”

Well homeboy, just go ahead and wrap that little crystal ball up real tight and send that joint to Tuscaloosa because everything else is just a matter of formality. The Alabama Crimson Tide is dog walking boyz and there’s nothing that anybody can do about it. Regardless of how weak their schedule looks on paper they seem to be the best team in the country.  I thought that Tennessee would pose some problems to the Bama defense because Tyler Bray and Co. could air it out. The only problem they posed was the back end of a 44-13 route in Knoxville. Alabama did everything but make drinks in Neyland Stadium on Saturday night.

These boyz aren’t playin’ and ole Nick Saban is like a mad scientist right now. He keeps his team focused like race horses and they're running over and around everything in their way.

"We just kept grinding and grinding," Saban said. "We squandered a few opportunities at times, but I think the key to the drill was just keep playing and play the next play. Compete and be relentless in how you do it." It’s funny watching him on the sideline because he’s having fits and from time to time it looks like he’s gonna head rush and fall out. The crazy thing is that they’ll be up by 2 or 3 touchdowns and he’s still freaking out! 

They are officially the neighborhood street gang and have posted up on the corner and nobody is getting through without paying tolls. So like I said earlier, don’t even waste our time with a national title game just send that joint to Tuscaloosa and we’ll start spring ball in two weeks. After watching A.J. McCarron put up 306 and 4 and the two freshman went to work it's all but over. They've got every aspect of the game plan covered. If I thought Oregon was "King" then Alabama is "Big Brother King Almighty Thank You May I Have Another, Sir!"

I keep hearing boyz saying LSU might give them some problems in Baton Rouge but that’s just wishful thinking! Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! LSU has trouble scoring points and Alabama is being coached by the best cat in the business. Save us all the trouble of having to watch it on November 3rd. Bama is the all of that, a bag of chips, some Now & Laters, a red pop and those frosted penny cookies that Fat Daddy sold at the corner store. I doubted them before but never again. Not as long as Nick Saban is in charge. Accept my apologies and we’ll move on! That’s on my momma!

I’m just glad that I don’t have to keep listening to clowns tell me about South Carolina! Noni Juice does not sell bruh! I told you that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. The Gamecocks got the brakes, the doors and the transmission beat off of them in the swamp 44-11, like I told you they would. When you’ve only won 1 conference title in 120 years and have only had 3 All-Americans, big games become way too big to handle. 

Well, it looks like ole dull Gene Chizik should be getting escorted out of Auburn real soon after losing to Vanderbilt. That’s like getting beat up on the bus by the blind kid in the wheel chair and trying to walk back through the hood with some respect. Ain’t gonna happen! I know the old timers at Toomer’s Corner have stripped down to their underwear and are ready to fight to the death today to get Chizik out of town because his firing is also just a matter of formality too.

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

The Bread Line

"I'm just glad I got all of that bread coming my way bruh!"

We’ve all heard the colloquialism “Don’t hate the player, hate the game!” However, most people either don’t understand it or don’t care to apply it when it comes to them because they love to hate.  Folks always want to act like “Haters” live on a reservation somewhere with racists because you can never find anybody that will admit that they are either a hater or a racist. It blows my mind quite honestly!

For the past week boyz in the barber shops and on sports talk radio shows have been hating on Alex Rodriguez for being in a slump and getting benched by Joe Girardi during the Tigers series. Bruh, the guy is  human! That means that human beings are imperfect and are subject to having bad stretches. Now the first thing people will point to is his massive contract. 

This cat is signed for the next five years and guaranteed another $114 million. It also includes a marketing agreement with the Yankees that could add as much as $30 million to the deal in the form of $6 million bonuses for reaching each of five target home run totals up to the all-time record of 762 held by my boy Barry Bonds. He has 647 home runs right now and his next milestone bonus would be passing Willie Mays at 660. He also has a no trade clause in the joint. That means you can talk trades until you’re blue in the face and if ole boy doesn’t agree to it, he’s not going anywhere. It’s like trying to convince Big Momma to move out of her house that's now in the hood that wasn’t the hood when she bought it 50 years ago.

So again I ask, why are cats hating on this dun? Just because a boy has a guaranteed salary of $114 million doesn’t make him immortal. Is it his fault that somebody was dumb enough to sign him to that deal? Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! There isn’t a person alive that wouldn’t have taken the bread if it were offered to them. That’s real talk bruh!

Don’t act like the cat has to be Superman or Bozo because the Yankees signed him to a clown contract. Where else in America can you go to work for guaranteed money? If they told you on your job today that they were going to sign you through 2017 and guarantee your money, you’d call off sick tomorrow and take a vacation next week. So why are folks acting like A-Rod can’t have a bad stretch even in the playoffs. His teammates were just as bad but because he's big money grip boyz jumped all over him and gave those other duns a pass. Now I’m not a baseball fan at all but I keep it real when it comes to real life issues.

You can’t hate on a boy for being human and it doesn’t matter what kind of bread he’s making. As long as he’s not running game, not putting forth the effort or taking advantage of the Yankees, it’s all good. Now my problem with A-Rod is that he wants everybody to like him and that just won’t happen homeboy. Any time you’re good at anything the haters are gonna to come out of the wood works. When he signed the 10 year $250 million joint with Texas in 2001 he became a marked man. Again, what would you have preferred him to do? Not sign the joint?

In my Big Momma voice, “It ain’t his fault baby that them people were crazy enough to give him all of that money!”  He took what was offered and anybody that was wearing his shirt on the day they offered the joint would have taken it too. So like I said before, don’t hate the player hate the game.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

"King"

"What do you want me to do bruh?"

In every ghetto in America back in the day there was a dog named King in the neighborhood. In those days nobody’s dog lived in the house. They were chained or tied up to the dog house in the backyard and ran in a half circle barking at the kids as they ran by. From time to time some dun felt like messing with the dog because they new he was chained up. He’d throw rocks at him, na, na, na, na him and dance around in front of him just to aggrivate him. King would go crazy and on the right day he’d break the chain!

Well… that was Arizona State last night in the desert when they got the doors blown off of them 43-21 by the Oregon Ducks. They were riding their bikes past King, stopped and chunked some rocks at him like the southern ole timers would say. Just as they got comfortable enough to dance they got bold and mooned him. You could hear the chain snap from the parking lot. Then all you heard was the sound of a straight up mauling.

 The Sun Devils caught a break on an early 1^st quarter interception and turned it into points going up 7-0 with 14:11 left in the 1^st quarter. The place was electric as they jumped on the Parliament Funkadelic at the crib in front of a rabbit crowd because they came into this ball game with only one loss and were undefeated in  PAC 12 play. The Ducks absorbed those 7 points like a Bounty paper towel bruh! By the 11:33 mark in the 2^nd quarter the score was 43-7 and the Sun Devils were unrecognizable.  They had to use dental records to identify them at the half. King put that thang on ‘em then tied himself back up and laid down bruh. Chip Kelly called the dogs off before they caught a felony up in that piece. 

Like I’ve been saying all year the Ducks are the REAL deal. You can sell Florida as the #2 team in the land all you want but I’m not buying it at least not until they can run the table because their schedule is brutal. The only reason I’m cool with Alabama sitting at #1 is because of Nick Saban. He’s by far the best coach in America, they are the defending national champ and he’s got horses on the sideline.

However, after this week end all of that logic goes out of the window because the Vols will pull an Ali and shock the world by knocking off the Crimson Tide in Knoxville. This ain’t  something new bruh! I’ve been telling boyz to mark their calendars for 10/20 since week 1 and on every preview and wrap up video I’ve done this season I’ve said that the Bama secondary has been chillin’ riding the coat tails of that unbelievable front seven. They haven’t been tested because they haven’t played anybody with the ability to throw the football.

Michigan attempted to put it in the air but Denard is probably the worst passer in the country and their offensive coordinator panicked by not using his quarterback properly. Shoelace throws the ball on Tebow level if it were a video game bruh. However, when they did put it up the Bama secondary looked lost but Denard couldn't throw it over his shoulder. Please don't me the front 7 was so dominant line bruh! Denard couldn't toss a salad homeboy! Bama played up to this point a bunk schedule and now they line up against the best passing offense in the SEC with Tyler Bray and the best set of wide receivers in the conference in Justin Hunter and Cordarrelle Patterson.

The only reason Tennessee poses a threat is because they can throw the football. You can’t beat Bama running a traditional running offense like 99% of the SEC does and when you play Michigan, Florida Atlantic, Western Kentucky and Western Carolina as non-conference opponents you won't get tested. Also when the conference schedule includes, Ole Miss, Mizzou, Miss State, dull Arkansas, LSU, Texas A&M, and extremely dull Auburn the ball never leaves the ground. So Tennessee is the only team on the schedule that has a chance at beating them.

So after this weekend we’ll really be calling the Parliament Funkadelic, King! Did you see those helmets last night pimpin’? Talk about being rock stars that give the crowd the hot joints and then dropping them off after the show. It’s like going to an R. Kelly, Prince or Frankie Beverly and Maze concert. They keep you on your feet for two and a half hours and then walk off with you wanting more. Hit after hit after hit bruh! Note to all of the SEC jock riding media that seem to be ignoring the platinum hits that the Ducks keep putting out. They’re going to keep dropping hits and selling out the joint whether you come to the show or not. FYI, you’re not getting into the after party because that’s only reserved for boyz that believed in them from day one.

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

College Football Weekly Preview: Week 8!

Ya Boy's Week 8 Preview of the Top 5 Games of the Week!
1) #6 LSU vs #18 Texas A&M
2) #4 Kansas State vs #13 West Virginia
3) #7 South Carolina vs #2 Florida
4) #14 Florida State vs Miami (Rivalry Game)
5) #1 Alabama vs Tennessee

NOBODY CARES

"Thanks momma for letting me quit the team. I'll just live with you forever!" 

Buddha once said, "Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory will come." Wilma Rudolph gave it to us like this, "It doesn't matter what you're trying to accomplish. It's all a matter of discipline. I was determined to discover what life held for me beyond the inner-city streets." The old school coaches used to hang a sign in the weight room that said, “Check your feelings and your attitude at the door because this is GROWN MAN BUSINESS.”

So many of these young cats don't understand what it takes to survive in the real world because they've been pampered for far too long. So many of them are destined to fail because they have no heart and intestinal fortitude. The head football coach at Idaho State, Mike Kramer, is being investigated by both campus police and the Pocatello police department for pushing one of his players at practice. You read that right bruh! Pushing a player at practice! Kramer ran across the field and got into wide receiver Derek Graves' face, gave him the business and then two hand pushed him and walked away. I'm fired up that this kid has my last name first of all. Let me be clear when I say that.

When I was growing up sports was the maker of men. Whether you played basketball, football or ran track. Coaches were like father figures on and off of the field and they were extremely hard on you. On some real talk, they would say just about anything to you or about you to get the very best out of you.


Now of course, back in that day everybody had some type of connection with their dads, uncles or a coach that told them how life was going to be and you either had to deal with it or quit. Single mothers ain't nothing new bruh! There have always been cats in the hood without a father but moms got help from uncles, mentors and coaches to get it in. Don't get me wrong I think that a man that doesn't raise his children is the worse thing alive. The word of God says,"A man that doesn't take care of his family has denied the faith and is worse than a non-believer!" 1Timothy 5:8

 Like Bo Schembechler once said, "Those that stay will become champions!" Those that made it through the discipline have become solid men with or without a father. Now days there are so many kids being raised by single moms without any connection to their fathers or a male role model at all and their mother treats them like they're the man of the house. So as a consequence, these duns are as soft as drugstore cotton candy because they've never really been disciplined by a man until they're grown and by then it's too late.

This dun is pressing charges and says that the coach humiliated him in front of his teammates. Are you kidding me? I feel sorry for my baby girl and all of the young ladies coming up in this generation because they don't have anything to choose from when it comes to cats being protectors and providers. If you can't take a coach getting in your face and pushing you with 20 pounds of equipment on you may as well go climb into a whole because life is gonna beat the brakes off of you. If you don't believe me just as ole Vince Young right now.

He couldn't take Jeff Fischer getting in his grip because he wasn't accustomed to a grown man getting into his face and giving him the REAL. Remember when extremely soft Kendrick Perkins got dunked on by Blake Griffin last year and LeBron tweeted to his 3.5 million followers about how amazing the dunk was and Perkins got upset?  In my Ray Gibson (Eddie Murphy) voice, "Sofffffffffftt!"

Remember when  former Kansas head coach, Mark Mangino, got fired in 2008 after many of his players complained that he was disrespecting them. He once told a kid at halftime, "You keep talking about being a 1000 yard rusher but you haven't done $%#!." The kid said that coach called him out in front of the team and disrespected him. Are you kidding me?  He also threw a kid out of his chair because he was sleeping during a team meeting prior to the bowl game. So the player called his mother from the bowl sight and told her that he wanted to transfer. You read that right! He called his mother and she rushed to his aid! Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! He shouldn’t have been sleeping in the meeting! If he had been able to call an old school Big Momma or his ole man he would have gotten cursed out and then thrown out of the chair but these new momma's ran to his rescue and crippled him.

Former Oklahoma running back (30 for 30 "The Best That Never Was) Marcus Dupree called him momma too when Barry Switzer was giving him the blues. She told him that it was OK to come home and he's done nothing with his life ever since. She must have been a new school momma in an old school momma's uniform because that was in 1983. Sometimes it's OK for your baby boy to get pushed down and cursed out.

One thing that all young cats need to learn very early on is that NOBODY CARES! If you don't believe me go out on I-285, 270, 465 or where ever you live and park your joint on the side of the road, pop the hood and wait to see how long it takes for somebody to help you. NOBODY CARES about you but your momma but she can't keep life from kicking your butt because at some point it will!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Foolish Pride

"We're winning BIG down here homie!"

When a young cat starts to sell dope he gets addicted to the money, the women and the hood fame. Not only does he hustle hard, he flosses even harder. Once he gets on top of the hood something happens. He starts slippin’ and getting sloppy because he’s the man and now he becomes vulnerable. It works the same way in the corporate world too, don't get it twisted. It doesn’t matter who you are good or bad the rules still apply because the light shines on the just as well as the unjust! God says, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2. If you weren’t feelin’ that joint he threw this one in for good measure, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18.

I need all of the Alabama fans out there to put those joints in their pockets because you’re gonna need them in the near future. These boyz are talking $100 worth of noise because their football team is the REAL deal and have been since the arrival of one Nick Saban. Give ‘em credit homeboy because they’ve got the college football world on lock right now. Can't dispute that! It happens from time to time and when it’s good it’s good. But when it's bad it's bad and believe me it's gonna get bad and the joint WILL pop. In my Huggy Low Down voice, "Wait for it!"

We’ve seen dynasty's before in college football. Oklahoma won 47 straight games between 1953-57. We saw the Miami Hurricanes win 4 national titles in a span of 8 years. Notre Dame ran the college football world for decades at one point. They wrote the Victors up in Ann Arbor for a reason bruh! Pete Carroll’s USC Trojans were rock stars traveling around the country like the Beatles beating the doors off of boyz. However, this ain’t Keith Sweat and you can’t make it last forever!

Yep, gettin' bored bruh!

One of several things is bound to happen. Either Nick Saban will get bored and move on to another challenge along with more bread, he'll lose the midas touch or the joint will implode. Don’t think for one minute that ole Nick is loyal to Alabama because he’s proven to us where his loyalties are. They are with Nick Saban, Inc. and I’m not mad at him because I’m loyal only to the Graves Group! People with type A personalities are competitive and if he keeps winning he’ll need another challenge. That’s real talk homeboy not hate!

Then he could lose the midas touch because it's just the natural progression of life. We're seeing it with Mack Brown down at Texas now! Remember when Babyface and Jermaine Dupri were producing everything you listened to. Then it just stopped. It happens bruh!

Finally, while all of these Bama fans are talking trash to everyone else they fail to realize that their players are 18-22 year olds that think and act like what else, 18-22 year olds. They are the biggest stars in the college football world and everybody is giving them the world down in Tuscaloosa. That means boyz are being taken care of by boosters because it happens everywhere. Whenever you win there are people that want to attach themselves to the program and to the players. We’ve seen this movie before and it always ends the same way.

The university CAN NOT police 100 players and thousands of boosters throwing money around. Everybody is living good and it only takes one cat to slip up i.e. Reggie Bush (USC), Maurice Clarrett (OSU), Charles Thompson (OU), the entire U with Uncle Luke and anybody else on South Beach that had bread and a yacht.

It’s bound to happen because it’s real life. When the joint gets too big it’s got to come down because kids can’t naturally handle the success of it all. You know it’s some players down there who’s got a Big Momma that’s struggling and she’s been eating good since their son enrolled at Alabama. It’s all good until that one fool on the team messes it up for everybody because he got too comfortable and too greedy.

 All of a sudden the $100 handshake everyday ain’t enough or one whip isn’t satisfying so a boy goes out and gets two or three. Remember when Jamelle Holieway from Oklahoma got hurt and didn’t dress for the Nebraska game in 1987 and this dun was on the sideline in a full length mink coat? That's the type of foolishness I'm talking about bruh! 

 Terrelle Pryor got so comfortable at Ohio State that he even pulled up to the football facility the very night that they had a team meeting about Tressel getting fired in a brand new ride with the national media everywhere. Charles Thompson got so comfortable that he was selling cocaine and eventually sold to an undercover. Reggie Bush got so comfortable that his parents moved out of the hood into a $800K crib over night without changing their income on the W2.

You always have that one dun that just can’t control himself and brings the empire down. So Alabama fan, stop talking crazy to everybody around you and just enjoy the ride like we’ve all done in the past. Because at some point sooner rather than later you will be sitting out here with the rest of us waiting for your turn to get back on the merry-go-round and some times it can be a long wait between rides bruh.

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

College Football Weekly Wrap Up: Week 7!

Held Hostage

"I'm so mad I gotta take it out on somebody bruh!"

Thomas Jefferson once said, “Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny.” Albert Einstein gave it to us like this, “The only source of knowledge is experience.” The old playa's standing in front of the liquor store in the hood broke it down like geniuses when they said this, “You only gotta see the game once to be able to recognize it forever.”

Last week before the BCS rankings came out I felt like I was trapped in the club with no way out and boyz were beefin’ at the door. You know it’s about to pop off because the duns that were arguing are straight up gangsta’s and have been known to shoot up the joint. Because they’re gettin’ it in at the door everybody has to hunker down and watch it. You know where it’s going but you can’t do anything about it because it's only one way in and one way out. That’s why I wrote the Hot Joint entitled, "The Dull Fix" because you could see the media trying to position the SEC right back to the top of the rankings. So dull bruh! 

Now like I’ve been saying all year, Alabama is the real deal and should be at the top of the pile even though they’ve got one of the weakest schedules in the country. I’m cool with that because they’ve got crazy talent and they’re coached by the best cat in the business. But how does Florida, who was ranked #24 just 5 weeks ago move all the way up to #2 in the initial BCS rankings?

Now I’m accustomed to seeing boyz getting car jacked and even robbed in the middle of the street in broad daylight because where I grew up it was common place. I’ve seen families go to funerals only to come back home and find the whole house gutted. Boyz realized that the entire family and all affiliations where at the funeral and would be gone for a while so they backed a U-haul up and took everything. 

That’s what happened to Oregon, Kansas State and Notre Dame last night, playa. Now the powers that be keep trying to tell us that the computers loved Florida but somebody put the info in the joint. Don’t tell me that the computers love them more when they were barely in the Top 25 just a few weeks ago! They barely got out of College Station in their underwear and Texas A&M has always been a middle of the road Big 12 team. They didn't just get good over night because they're in the SEC! Also the Gators only beat the same LSU team that struggled to beat Gene Chizik's Auburn and dull Towson. They've played nobody else at this point bruh! They love them more because of the SEC logo on the back of the helmet. That's REAL TALK! 

Now will Florida play a tough schedule? Absolutely! They still have South Carolina, Georgia and Florida State then possibly an SEC title game. If they keep winning they should be ranked #1 because of strength of schedule and not Alabama! But in week 7 they shouldn't because you can't spend money before the checks show up bruh! 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If Alabama wasn’t located in Tuscaloosa they’d be ranked 10th with that dull schedule they're playing. What’s killing me is that guys like Kirk Herbstreit, with millions of viewers, keep saying that a one loss SEC team gets in regardless. So if boyz keep bottle necking the SEC and force feeding it to us, you’re right. 

I know the Joe's up in Oregon are hot this morning. The Parliament Funkadelic, as I so affectionately call them because of their hot uniforms, have been putting in work all season and for what? Notre Dame has done the same thing and as much as I dislike them I can't hate on their success at this point in the season. Cats were already trying to put South Carolina at #2 last week. I heard on multiple national radio shows that the Gamecocks would be #2 if they beat LSU in Death Valley. "The Dull Fix" has been in for weeks! 

Why can’t a one loss Big 12 or PAC 12 team get in if that's the case? Oregon will possibly have to play USC twice but that ain't good enough! They’re playing a tougher schedule that Alabama is playing? That schedule is so dull that if you put that joint in a flash light you’d still walk into the wall and break your nose. Now like I keep saying, if the SEC has the top two teams standing after all of the smoke has cleared, then it is what it is! Just don’t start arguing and blocking the only way out of the joint and hold me hostage for the rest of the season. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport  

"Shook"

West Virginia in their Florida Evans' voice, "Damn, Damn, Damn!"

There is a reason why the Feds come through doors in the wee hours of the morning. Their intent is the element of surprise. Boyz are sleepin’ good with their mouths wide open and the next thing they know 11 people are standing in their bedroom and all they hear is “The party's over!” and “Let’s go!”

The West Virginia Mountaineers were on cruise control scoring crazy points on offense and playing no defense at all. They were ranked 3rd in passing yards, 7th in points scored and 112th in points against but were STILL undefeated. That was a bad combination homeboy! You knew that it was just a matter of time before the “Boyz” came through the front door. Texas Tech tore the joint off of the hinges beating them 49-14 in Lubbock!

Did they catch West Virginia sleeping or did they just welcome them to the Big 12? It was a little bit of both. Geno and Co. showed up in unassuming Lubbock thinking that they could take advantage of these good ole cowboys and got pistol whipped in the town square. What they didn’t realize is that everybody can score points in Big 12 country. Everybody is pushin’ whips with 26’s on 'em around those parts bruh!

When they decided to step out of the Big East somebody should have gotten in their ear and told them that boyz that don’t look like they’re dangerous WILL get you in the Big 12. Texas Tech is a middle of the road team in the conference but they WILL car jack you out here. Ask Oklahoma about how they tore the door off of Owen Field last year and derailed their season.  Don’t try to show up in Ames, Iowa flossin’ either. Just ask Oklahoma State about that last year too! Cats like that have a tendency to get you when you least expect it.

I’m glad to see Notre Dame is still winning because that means that the delusional Irish fans have surfaced again. Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Stanford got robbed in overtime right in front of Touchdown Jesus! I'm just sayin'! Shame on you Notre Dame! Let me remind all of my friends from South Bend that we’ve seen this movie several times before and we really don’t have to stick around to watch the ending again. When Ty Willingham and Charlie Weis were there they both had the Golden Dome rolling for a hot minute too.

 Ty had them 8-0 in his 1st season in 2002 before the wheels came off at Boston College. Then Charlie had them 9-3 in his 1st campaign until the transmission came out of the joint when they played teams with better athletes. Nothing has changed bruh. You're still playing with the same dudes you've been losing with. Keep in mind that you still have to travel to Norman and to LA where beat downs have been reserved for you with breakfast in bed, a facial, pedicure and a massage. Don’t trip because it’s on the house. We're glad to accommodate you!

Last week I wrote the Hot Joint entitled, "The Dull Fix" where I told you guys not to put any stock into South Carolina running the table, winning the SEC or playing for the national title even though I picked them to beat LSU on Saturday because the Tigers have been struggling. I told you that they were still South Carolina and that it was just a matter of time before somebody came through and hit them too. I told you that selling the Gamecocks was like trying to sell Noni Juice! It ain't gonna happen! They don’t have the depth to win titles homeboy because it’s South Carolina. Always remember this when you want to argue that point, in 120 years of football in Columbia, they’ve won 1 conference title and had 3 All-Americans. Stop talking about the Gamecocks!

Stay focused because it’s a long season and so many of these guys still have to play one another. Oregon(Parliement Funkadelic) still has to go to LA and party with USC and will possibly play them again in the PAC 12 title game. They also have Oregon State waiting for them in the Civil War too. Florida still has to see South Carolina, Georgia(World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party) and Florida State(huge rivalry game). Speaking of rivalry games, did you see the Sooners blow the doors off of Texas in the RED RIVER SHOOTOUT? I'm just sayin'!  Alabama still has to go to Death Valley for a November 3rd appointment with LSU and possibly an SEC title game in Atlanta. Kansas State isn’t out of the woods yet because they still have dates with West Virginia, Texas Tech and Texas. Like I said earlier, OU still has Notre Dame coming through for wine and cheese. Really more whine than cheese coming from Notre Dame fans though.

This is why I love college football! It’s so much fun just watching all of the chess pieces move and like I always say, the playoffs started week 1! WARNING: Don't get caught sleepin' cuz boyz will come and get you!

My Top 10 after week 7!
1) Alabama
2) Oregon
3) Florida
4) Kansas State
5) Notre Dame
6) LSU
7) Oklahoma
8)  Florida State
9) Ohio State
10) Oregon State

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

"That Dude"

"This dun is reckless right now bruh!"

When you were growing up there was always a kid that would talk trash like he wanted to fight but would never put his book bag down until he got to his front door? He would talk all the way the crib and as soon as his mom answered the door he'd throw his things down, get loud and say, "Come on let's fight right now!" He was notorious for getting into his folk's car and hollering out of the window as they were pulling off. He really didn't want to fight but he only acted like it when there was a crowd or his mom was standing nearby to protect him!

Well…That's Kobe Bryant right now bruh! All of a sudden he has what seems to be an arsenal of talent around him and he’s talking major trash right now. He’s the punk kid that boyz are waiting to catch walking home from school by himself. I know you’ve noticed how he’s been talking way too much here lately and even attacking cats like Smush Parker, who isn’t even in the league anymore and Kwame Brown, who’s playing with the 76’rs at this point.

This dun told reporters earlier this week that Smush Parker was the worst player ever and that the only reason that he was in the NBA at the time was because the Lakers were too cheap in 2005-06 to go get a real point. So they let Smush walk-on. He went on to tell Pro Basketball Talk, “I don’t know how Kwame Brown convinced Philadelphia to cough up $7 million a year. They want to lock us out but they’ll pay him $7 million.” It's cool to really feel that way but it's something called tact and respect that professional people give one another bruh. I would even understand if he was talking trash to LeBron or Kevin Durant but he's picking on the kid in the wheel chair!

Now is this some bitter cat that was cut from the NBA or is it one of the best to ever play the game talking like this? This can’t be a 5-time NBA champion, 2-time NBA Finals MVP, a guy that’s worth more than $200 million talking about some clowns that shouldn’t even be on his mind. That’s what I’m trippin’ on!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! That’s a straight up punk move that would get you tore up in the hood. Just because it’s Kobe boyz are trying to give him a pass. If he was a real G and felt that way about them then why has it taken him 7 years and major distance in zip codes to blast them? Now that he’s got Dwight Howard and Steve Nash he thinks he’s on the porch at the crib and Big Momma is standing there to protect him.

Now is Kobe the real deal? Absolutely! However, he’s forgotten that he’s on the back end of his career. He’s not some young thunder cat anymore. Boyz around the league are listening to this foolishness too and don’t think that Smush and Kwame don’t have boyz that are still in the league too. Hard fouls are harder to take the older you get homeboy! Life ain’t nothing but the streets. Everybody is affiliated to something, someone or both! You can’t just take shots at boyz and not think that life won’t happen to you.  Injuries come get Joe's that are reckless whether they are intentional or unintentional.

I remember when Tupac dropped the “Hit Em Up” joint in June of 1996. I was standing in a record store in G.I.(Gary,In.) and boyz couldn’t believe that he was going at cats like that. When he made the comments about Biggie’s wife I turned to my boy and said, “He won’t last 6 months because he’s reckless! He’s speeding down the expressway doin’ 125mph, drunk, blind folded, driving with no hands and he's bound to hit something!” He was dead in three! You can’t be that reckless out here! Life is real and karma is always looking for something to get into.

Surely, I’m not saying that Kobe will have the same type of consequences as Pac because he’s not out here agitating street cats. My point is,  you can’t be reckless with the way you treat folks and expect that everything will be cool! Big Momma always said, “God don’t like ugly!” Proverbs 18:12 says, "Before destruction the heart of a person is proud, but humility comes before honor." This dun is doing things backwards! He kept his mouth closed and balled out first. Now he's jawing at cats that don't matter. SMH!

These dudes are minding their own business and he should be preparing for the upcoming season not taking shots at boyz that are irrelevant. He's got to keep in mind that he's getting old and it won't be as easy to keep up as before. Don't mess around a get embarrassed out here by one of these young boyz while you got your mouth open. I'm just sayin'!

Like I’ve always said, “The two most selfish human beings in the history of sports are Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan. Now that selfishness has helped them to become great finishers and champions but terrible people. If LeBron had made those same comments about his Cleveland teammates for example, Mateen Cleaves, Ricky Davis, Dajuan Wagner or Zydrunas Ilgauskas, the media would be crucifying him right now. Y'all know I'm keepin' it real!

 Put it like this, if you were ridin’ dirty and got pulled over. Who would you rather have in the ride with you, Kobe and Mike or LeBron? Kobe and Mike are going to push everything your way and will be walking to the crib when they’re taking you away. LeBron will be sitting in the back of the paddy wagon with you. That’s REAL talk!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Dress Code

"My son & I at the Red River Rivalry in 2010 appropriately dressed!"

Ninety percent of reality is perception. It is what it is! So everything in life is whatever it's perceived to be.  That's why I need to have a heart to heart with all of my guys that think it's OK to put on another GROWN man's jersey! Bruh, it's under no circumstances permissible! Let's put that on the table right now. I know you see boyz doing it all of the time but they don't know any better. It's like the blind leading the blind at this point.

 Grown men need to look like grown men bruh even at the game. Let me be specific so there's no confusion. I’m hollering to two sets of individuals. Those men that are at least thirty years old and those cats that have children that are at least ten years old. Cat's less than thirty without kids are still trying to figure out what they wanna be so I give them a pass.

A dun that is at least thirty is what the ole timers call “A Fully Grown Man”. Regardless of whether he has children or not, it isn’t permissible for him to walk around looking like a child. A man with children that are at least ten years old shouldn’t leave the house dressed like his kids regardless of his age because one of y'all has to at least look grown. While we’re at it let’s throw in the flat bib baseball caps and the sagging pants too.

I’m not saying that a grown man can’t represent his favorite team. However, that’s why they make team apparel like dry fit polo’s, T-shirts, jogging suits etc. It’s definitely OK to put on your team logo baseball cap too. Just not the flat bib joint bruh. Gentleman, once you become a grown man, you have to assume the look of a grown man. You can't leave the house looking like you're on your way to high school with my fifteen year old.

Although that look can be very fashionable it's a childish look to say the least. I’m speaking specifically about the hats, jerseys and matching sneakers. My son and his boyz rocks that type of gear! If I walk around looking like him, people won’t take me seriously. I am his father, so therefore, I’ve got to look like his father. I can’t afford to look like one of his boyz and we're hanging out in the same places. If you and your son leave the house rockin' the same gear ya'll look like you're about to holler at the same chicks homeboy!

 I think back to how embarrassing would it have been when I was growing up if my dad were rockin' the same gear that my friends and I were wearing. What if I were in the basement with my boyz back in '83 and we were rockin' the shell toe Adidas, Kangols and dookie ropes and my ole man came downstairs with them joints on too? How crazy would he look and how dumb would I feel?

I hear some cat saying , “Well I don’t have kids so I’m good”. Let's keep it real or all the way 100, which ever comes 1st. If you’re Andrew Luck's age with his jersey on you look like a groupie even if you‘re at the game bruh. Think about this… you could potentially show up in the same places he hangs out after the game, like at a restaurant or night club etc. Let's say you're standing at the bar ordering a drink and he walks up to order one too. How stupid do you look? Even though he's making money off of you he's shaking his head. See it's somewhat OK for a professional athlete to wear one of his boyz jerseys because they're on the same level. I still have a problem with it though but it's cool. It's also OK for a father to wear his son's joint because he's daddy! However, the regular cat wearing some other Joe's jersey looks like a groupie.


I’ve got several friends that have played professional sports including basketball, football and baseball. They’re all retired now but it wasn’t uncommon for them to think that people that wore jerseys looked stupid. You can’t be a grown man wearing another man's name of your back. I equate the guy that puts on another man's jersey to a woman that puts on her man's shirt after sex and walks around the house smelling it.

 As much as I liked Eric Dickerson when I was in high school. I wouldn’t have dared to put on his jersey, even when I was eighteen years old for those same reasons. Maybe because I was an athlete and it just seemed silly to me to rock another cats jersey.

Lastly, what kind of grown woman wants to show up somewhere with a child dressed up like a grown man. Ya’ll catch that one later. If your hanging out with women that don’t mind you wearing jerseys. Then they’re probably dressed up like their teenaged daughters and you guys are meant for one another.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Like TheJayGravesReport on Facebook at http://on.fb.me/sTI3qZ

The Royal Flush

"I know I'm outta control but I just can't help myself bruh!"

Warren Buffett once said, “When you combine ignorance and leverage, you get some pretty interesting results.” The German Playwright Johann Wolfgang von Goethe gave it to us like this, “There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.” Big Momma always said, “If you let a fool have his way, he’ll destroy himself right before your eyes.”

Well, I’m gonna to sit in the cut and watch Tennessee Titans’ running back Chris Johnson destroy his career right before my eyes. This dun told his head coach Mike Munchak earlier this week that he wasn’t going to play on Thursday night against the Pittsburgh Steelers because he was taking a personal day! You read that right bruh! A personal day!

He’s not flying home because of a family emergency or an illness or anything like that. He’s just taking a personal day on game day. When asked why he was taking the day off he said that his reasons for a personal day aren’t anyone’s business then later admitted that he needs a “mental health day.”

He then went on to say, “I’m spent from running behind my sh***y offensive line. So I’m just going to crash on the couch and watch movies and get some take out.” Hey, at least when folks in the working world need a mental health day they call in faking a cough and sounding sick. This dun just told them he was going to chill out and wasn’t even gonna watch the game. Ain’t that a blip! I’ve never seen anything like it in all of my days.

You know his teammates are done with him, right? He may as well clean out his locker or I bet the trainers have already taken care of that. As crazy as T.O. was he showed up for work. Now he was going to irritate everybody in the building but on game day he was going to ball out. Organizations are getting tired of cats acting a fool on them regardless of their talent. Nobody wants a fool bruh!

 Last year Johnson signed a 4 year extension to his existing contract that’s now worth $53 million with $30 million guaranteed and the personal days were negotiated into the contract.

I’ve got two questions homeboy! Who’s his agent and who was the clown with the Titans that agreed to those terms? They must have been negotiating with Elmer Fudd and Charlie Brown. Are you kidding me? Not only does he have permission to take a personal day. He reminded Munchak that he’s got 3 additional joints that he can take by seasons end. There's only 16 games in the regular season and he can take 4 off if he feels like it? That’s a quarter of the season! Talk about a straight up gangsta move but it was also straight up ignorant!

This dun has simply forgot that he was a 5’11” 191 lb running back that comes a dime a dozen. You can pull up at any campus in America and find a cat his size and get the same production out of him. He’s only got 210 yards on the season and 2.9 yards per carry. Offenses are pass first systems at this point so the running back isn’t as valuable as they once were unless you can block and catch. Homeboy can't see past his nose. Sure, he's got $30 million guaranteed but when that runs out and trust me it will because he doesn't respect it. 

Pulling that stunt just essentially ended his career and if he’s crazy enough to sit at the crib and watch movies on game day all while throwing his teammates under the bus he has the capacity to do anything. That was career suicide.  An old timer in the barber shop once told me that the way you do anything is the way you do everything. You can’t separate foolishness from foolishness. That $30 million will be floating in the air as quick as they cut the checks. He may as well be standing over the toilet when they come in because flushing it might be easier and less painful!

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

The Dull Fix

"SEC only! All other conferences need not apply regardless of record!"

The greatest advantage of growing up in the hood is that you learn how to spot a hustle even before it gets out of the ride. When it turns the corner and comes down the street you can see it putting its pistol in his waist. So when it jumps out of the car and starts jackin' boyz you aren’t surprised. As a matter of fact you’ve already taken cover.

All I’m saying is that boyz shouldn’t be surprised when the BCS rankings come out in the next week and the SEC is bottle necked at the top of the rankings. When the preseason rankings came out there where 5 SEC teams in the top 10; #2 Alabama, #3 LSU, #6 Georgia, #9 South Carolina and #10 Arkansas! From my vantage point on the stoop I told boyz that the fix was in. The only team that was a legit top 5 team at the time was Alabama!

I’ve been saying for years that Georgia is Mark Richt’s Georgia but the media keeps drinking the Kool Aid and keeps giving them the benefit of the doubt. Florida was ranked 24^th in the preseason poll and after beating a dull LSU team that has been riding on a donut for the past few weeks, struggling with a terrible Auburn team and then Towson, has jumped all the way to 4^th in the latest poll. Arkansas started the season with dull John L Smith and they were still ranked 10th. He was horrible at Louisville and Michigan State but because was coaching in the SEC he was all of a sudden a top 10 cat. SMH

South Carolina beats Mark Richt’s Georgia at home and now I’m listening to sports radio yesterday and they’re saying that if the Gamecocks beat dull LSU in Death Valley this weekend that they could be #2 behind Alabama in the first BCS rankings. The fix is in bruh!

How in the world can you just bypass Oregon (Parliament Funkadelic), West Virginia and Notre Dame? All three of these teams have been playing lights out. Now West Virginia’s defense is suspect but you can’t match them on offense and until they lose you can’t discount them.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st!  The best indicator of future behavior is to look at past behavior! When you peel back all of the hype surrounding the Gamecocks they’re still dull South Carolina! They’ve won 1 conference title in the history of the program, 1 Heisman (George Rogers) and had 3 measly All-Americans in 120 years! Stop trying to sell South Carolina to me bruh! It's like trying to sell Noni Juice! Stop it! Just stop it! You're trying to sell me a vacuum cleaner and I've got hardwood floors! You're trying to talk me into using Soul Glo and I've been rockin' a bald head for more than 20 years!

 There is a reason that boyz are in Columbia and not in Tuscaloosa, Baton Rouge or Gainesville etc. Granted  they have a couple of exceptions to that rule in Jadeveon Clowney and Marcus Latimore but two cats can’t take you to the promise land because this ain't round ball. That’s real talk.

It kills me that these duns in the media keep selling you teams outside of Alabama as the best in America. LSU can’t throw the football across the street but if South Carolina beats them this week they deserve to be #2? Real talk, LSU is going to drop 2 or 3 ball games before it’s all over so how does beating them justify a #2 ranking?

That’s why I’ve been saying for years that they shouldn’t have preseason rankings because personal bias gets in the way and it screws teams like Notre Dame because nobody expected them to be undefeated at this point in the season. They've played a legit schedule so far but boyz are completely ignoring them because the SEC fix is in. When it's all said and done the Irish will have played Michigan (dull but a rivalry game so it's intense), Michigan State, Stanford, Miami and both Oklahoma and USC on the road. That's a better schedule than Bama is going to play.

Even if Alabama drops a game this year they’ll get in even with a garbage schedule. Look at this joint bruh: Michigan(dull), Western Kentucky(so dull), Arkansas(John L. Smith dull), Florida Atlantic(extra dull with mild sauce on the side), Ole Miss( dull as usual), Mizzou(couldn’t win in the Big 12 dull), Tennessee( will pull the dull upset on Bama because of their passing game), Miss State( southern drawl dull), LSU(riding on a donut dull),  Texas A&M(1^st year coach & new in the conference dull), Western Carolina(well done dull), Auburn( Gene Chizik will be fired by then dull). So you mean to tell me that a 1 loss Bama should get in playing that schedule over lets say Notre Dame? C'mon bruh!

Remember when the BCS first came out and strength of schedule and margin of victory were two thirds of the formula? Then in 2003 #1 Oklahoma got beat by Kansas State in the Big 12 title game and only dropped to #2 because of their strength of schedule and margins of victory all year. The writers were upset that there wasn’t enough human element involved so they changed it. Now there is too much human element and way too much SEC bias! I'm cool with the top SEC teams being in the hunt but just because you're in the family doesn't get you into the VIP section!

It's like when No Limit was hot and boyz were buying Silk The Shocker's music! He was the worst rapper of all-time but because he was affiliated with No Limit folks bought into the hype! It was the same way with ODB of Wu-Tang! He was straight garbage and selling on the strength of the group. Well that's what's happening with the SEC right now. South Carolina, Arkansas, Georgia, LSU all got a pass at the beginning of the season because of affiliation. You would think that these boyz are GD Folks or something the way they get to "bo-guard" the joint.

So the only way Notre Dame, Oregon or West Virginia gets into the VIP section in Miami is to run the table because the fix is in to get the SEC to play it all over again this year and that is so Dull! Now if the two best teams in the country are from the SEC when the smoke clears. I'm cool with that but don't try to hustle me in week 7!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport