Fancy Dancer

"I gotta get some new moves bruh! Boyz ain't gonna keep falling for the Oaky Doke!"

There is an old colloquialism that says, “If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and makes a loud crashing noise and no one is around to hear it. Did it really make a sound?” The old playa’s in the ghetto used to say, “I hear you but I can’t see you!” Big Momma used to break it down like this, “You keep writin’ checks baby, but you ain’t makin’ no deposits’ and at some point they comin’ to get you.”

The infamous Tony Romo put his Slep Rock outfit on Sunday night and did just what we thought he was capable of doing. Choking! In literally a win or go home scenario this dun fell apart like a Lego front door in a drug raid bruh! He went out to Landover and threw 3 picks in a 28-18 loss to the Redskins to kill the Cowboys post-season hopes for the third straight year.

Normally I’d blame Jerry Jones for the Cowboys problems but this year Ima blame his momma for raising such a hard headed child! To keep riding with Romo is insanity homeboy! What did the old timers teach you comin’ up? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Why would any sane individual think that Tony Romo would show up and play well if the playoffs were on the line? This cat breaks out in hives at the mention of the word playoff!

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The same clowns that have been telling me that Tim Tebow can’t play quarterback in the NFL have been shouting from the roof tops that Tony Romo is an elite quarterback. I know that I’m not the only dun that has heard them screaming in the night air that Romo is the REAL DEAL? Would you rather have a cat that can throw the football into a rabbit hole from 60 yards out and lose or a cat that has the “It Factor” that can’t throw it over his shoulder and win? I’m just sayin’!

They keep selling all of the Romo attributes to me too. He’s got a great arm, a soft touch, his decision making ability is unparalleled.  His shoes even look good on him when he walks. Look how great the number 9 sits on his back! His helmet sits perfectly on his head while his shoulder pads were simply made for him. I feel like somebody is trying to set me up on a blind date every time I turn on the TV or radio. I hear you talkin’ but I can’t see what you’re selling because she ain’t as fine as you keep telling me she is. As a matter of fact, she ain’t fine at all. The longer I sit here the more she's starting to look like Alice the Goon!

Believing in Romo is as IGNORANT as going to the strip club bruh! Why believe in the fantasy that doesn’t exist? He’s like the exotic dancer that gets you excited all night long only to drop you back off at the same place you started! And by the way, she took all of your freaking money in the process. If that ain’t Tony Romo I don’t know what is.

If you couldn't feel me on that because I know how you boyz like to get down peep this out. If I invited you over to my crib for dinner and laid a spread out in front of you with all of the trimmings. Told you that you had to buy the groceries but you couldn't eat. I need you to sit there for two hours, buy drinks and just look at it. Would you ever come back over to my crib again bruh?

Normally NFL quarterbacks have a small speaker built into their helmets to get the play calls from the coaches. Well Romo’s helmet had the wrong channel and coach talking to him last night. His joint was bumpin’ that Jim Mora, “What’s that? Ah-Playoffs?!? Don’t talk about playoffs?!? Playoffs??!! You kidding me?!?”  He didn’t hear a single play called all night!

At least I don’t have to listen to the “Romo is an elite quarterback song and dance” ever again. He'll be forever known as "Delicious the Rump Shaker" because he does have the uncanny ability to rip boyz off on a pipe dream like a table dancer! Oh yeah, tell Jerry Jones I’m looking for his momma too because somebody’s gotta talk some sense into that boy before there's a riot in Dallas!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

That's Crazy!

"I chilled at the crib for a year and still got a pay raise homeboy!"

Abraham Lincoln was a straight up G when he said, “These men ask for just the same thing, fairness, and fairness only. This, so far as in my power, they and all others, shall have.” Now when he broke that joint down the last thing that he was thinking about was college and professional sports because they didn’t exist at the time. However, the concept of doing the right thing did and treating folks fairly was paramount.

So why is it that the brothers in the world of coaching keep having to sit at the little kids table like the city councilman in the movie Four Brothers? Boyz can’t catch a break whereas their white counterparts many times can act a complete fool and still be rewarded.

Now Sean Peyton has been suspended for the entire year for running an illegal bounty system to reward cats for intentionally trying to hurt players and paying goons for the dirty work. That’s like contract killing on the street bruh because you could literally end a boyz career. As a result of that foolishness he’s been rewarded with a contract extension and the largest salary in NFL history of $8 million per year!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Now this dun has essentially been on house arrest all year doing Fed time and when he gets cut loose he’ll get a raise. Meanwhile, the brothers have to remain as clean as a whistle and be one of the top coaches in the business with no slip ups to get or keep their jobs.

If I’m lying I’m dying bruh! We just saw Avery Johnson get yanked last week after being named the Eastern Conference Coach of the month in October and November. We saw Mike Brown get carjacked only 5 games into the NBA season! Also ole boy, Jon Embree, got fired after only 2 seasons at Colorado and his predecessor Dan Hawkins had 5 seasons of losing before getting the can.

In the history of college football only one black coach has ever been fired and found another job at an FBS school and that’s Ty Willingham. He was fired from Notre Dame and then hired at the University of Washington. For y’all that’s checkin’ “History” means of all time, playa!

However, their white counterparts can put on some clown shoes and the nose and get a new job. If I’m lying I’m dying! Bobby Petrino can hire his mistress to work for him at the University of Arkansas then crash his bike with her on the back of the joint, lie about it, get fired and get a new job within 4 months at Western Kentucky.

Boyz try to forget that Mike Price was fired at Alabama in 2003 before he'd ever coached a game and spring ball wasn't even over for soliciting sex from students, buying them drinks, having sex with 2 strippers and then letting one of them order room service on the company credit card! Surely that ended his career right? In my Lee Corso voice, “Not so fast my friend!” Ole boy became the head coach of the University of Texas El Paso the following year and has been there ever since.

I know y’all remember George O’Leary? He was hired at Notre Dame in 2001 only to be fired two days later when they found out he was lying on his resume. This cat said that he had a Masters Degree from NYU-Stony Brook University! The problem is, that joint doesn’t exist bruh! NYU and Stony Brook are two separate schools that are 50 miles apart!

He also said that he earned 3 letters in football at the University of New Hampshire when he never got off of the bench homeboy! That ended his career right? Lee, where you at? “Not so fast my friend!” He went straight to the Minnesota Vikings as an assistant for 2 years then to the University of Central Florida as the head coach where he’s been posted up ever since.

Now Mike Haywood, a brother, accepted the University of Pittsburgh job in December of 2010 after winning the Mid-American Conference title at Miami of Ohio. After having the job for only 15 days he was arrested on a felony domestic violence charge on some baby momma drama. He was fired immediately and rightfully so. However, all of the charges were later dropped and now this dun can’t even get an assistant coaches job ANYWHERE! Y'all smell that?

So y’all tell me if I’m crazy or is the system is crazy because one of us is out of its freaking mind and dead wrong! These cats just want to sit at the adult table. They aren’t looking for a hand out or your sympathy. They just want to be dealt with fairly. Put all of the clowns and jokers in one room and leave them there, black or white. Don’t keep rewarding duns for breaking the rules and then firing guys that are simply trying to make an impact on young folk’s lives. Now if you can't win and you've been given ample time then it is what it is. But what kind of example are we setting for young people when we reward foolishness? I’m just sayin’! That's Crazy!!!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Let's Talk Turkey

"C'mon bruh! Y'all gotta know when to trip and not to trip!"

Thomas Jefferson once said, “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Marcus Garvey was quick and to the point when he said, “I like honesty and fair play.” The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. broke it down like this, “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

On Thursday night during TNT’s NBA halftime show, “Inside the NBA,” Sir Charles Barkley was asked by co-host Kenny Smith who his favorite president was and he answered by saying, “I love President Obama, but Abe Lincoln is my new favorite president. You know why? Because if it weren’t for him, we’d be calling Ernie boss.”

Now what blew me away was not that Chuck said it, but the reaction of people watching the telecast to what he said. All of a sudden people were offended that he said something that was true in a joking manner but he wasn't lying bruh. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! In other words homeboy, let's talk turkey. Who was offended? Black folks or a small number of white folks that don’t ever want to be reminded of the reality of slavery in America? The old timers would always tell us that you can’t ever figure out where you’re going unless you understand where you’ve been. That means all of us, both black and white.

Don’t get mad at Chuck for saying what he thought was real because most black folks feel the same way about Lincoln even though we realize that the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 had little to do with us and everything to do with saving the Union, either way it freed the slaves.

Let’s stop avoiding issues in this country that can help us to become a stronger nation. The issue of race is always on the table but we have to be smart enough to use it to our advantage as a nation. Our diversity is what makes us great. If everyone were the same and had the same cultural background and outlook on life it would be boring and bland. It would be like cooking with only one ingredient and no spice! Therefore, we’ve got to stop lying to ourselves about our history and how we all got here in the first place. If Chuck has to throw it into the NBA show to do it, I'm cool with that.

It’s like when they teach kids that Christopher Columbus discovered America in school. How can a boy discover something that was already inhabited by other people hundreds of years earlier? That’s like some cat showing up at my house, kicking my family and I out and telling his boyz that he discovered this new crib.

Let’s deal in honesty and we’ll be better for it. The key is not to offend people in the process about who they are. The reason that folks love that show is because it’s brutally honest! Now you may have been shocked that Chuck said it, but there was nothing offensive about what he said. It was funny because they all have a great relationship! Now Ernie was clearly embarrassed but it was all in fun. I've seen Chuck say some ridiculous things and that doesn't make the list. He was keeping it 100 and being funny with his boyz. That is why that show blows all of the others away. The only people that didn’t find humor in what Charles said were those that want to act like slavery never happened.

 As long as we continue to lie to each other we’ll never live out our true destiny as a country. Yes, our past has been ugly but so has the history of other great empires of the world. Now that doesn't make it right but it is what it is at this point! However, to act like it never happened is just as offensive as the act of slavery itself. So if we're all gonna be family then let's embrace who we are and we’ll be better because of it and don't be so uptight in the process!

Holla At Ya  Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport

Moon Walkin'!

"Boy, I can't WAIT to get to the crib!"

The famed English author Samuel Butler once said, “Silence and tact may or may not be the same thing.”  The French poet Jean Cocteau said it this way, “Tact in audacity is knowing how far you can go without going too far.” My boy Sir Isaac Newton shut the building down when he said, “Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.”

Well I guess ole Avery Johnson Jr. has never heard of any of those cats let alone the word tact or the words “my old man is gonna kill me when he gets to the crib!” On Thursday the Brooklyn Nets fired Avery Johnson Sr. after a 14-14 start even though he was just named Eastern Conference Coach of the Month just 24 days earlier. Did he get a raw deal? Sure, but in response, his teenaged son Avery Jr. all but pulled his pants down on Twitter to express his displeasure.

"This is a f------- Outrage. My dad is a great coach, he just got coach of the month and they Fire him. #Smh. Completely new team he had. The expectations were way to high for this team. We didn't even have a losing record.... Didn't even give my dad a full season. #OUTRAGE"

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Can you imagine your old man getting fired from his JOB and you publicly embarrassing him before he even gets to the crib? OMG!! Do you understand what kind of fireworks must have gone off at the Johnson estate/crib/flat last night bruh? I can hear Avery now in that whiny country voice trying to curse and move furniture around at the same time! I would have paid a fortune to be a fly on the wall with some Now & Laters and a red pop to see that one homeboy.

He’s already pissed that the Nets just let him go and now his son is doing exactly what he’s been telling him not to do. You know the drill if you’ve got kids. If you’ve said it once you’ve said it a million times. “You can’t just say anything on Twitter bruh! You gotta use common sense. Don’t embarrass the family name. Most importantly, if it sounds ignorant when you write it, it’s gonna be extremely ignorant when somebody else reads it!”

No matter how many times you say it, you still have to manage their Twitter, Facebook and now Instagram accounts because they’re FREAKING kids without a fully functional frontal lobe! For those of you that don’t know! The frontal lobe on a human being doesn’t fully form until a person is about 25 years old. The frontal lobe is where judgment is formed. That’s why you see young cats out here always doing stupid things.

When you see older people doing stupid things they are the duns that got out of line when they were handing them joints out! SMH! I just hope Junior isn’t bruised up too bad because if that were my dad, I would have looked like Willie Lump Lump this morning.

There goes the naive parent saying, "That's why my kid isn't on Twitter or Facebook!" Listen here playa, your kid is on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram! You just don't know it! These duns have alias' and internet access you don't know about! You better wake up and smell the coffee! All they need is an email address and a password!

Can you imagine James Evans getting fired from the car wash and J.J. getting on Twitter to voice his displeasure? James’ new job would have been trying to beat a murder charge playa! He would have set the projects on fire trying to get at J.J and I can hear Florida in the kitchen now, "Damn, Damn, Damn!"

Can you imagine Joe Jackson getting fired from U.S. Steel the "G" and little Michael Jackson getting on Twitter and cursing to the world? We would have never moon walked, beat it, looked at the man in the mirror or ever figured out who’s bad.You already know ole Avery was moon walkin' to some Billie Jean last night bruh! I just hope the swelling goes down before the holiday break is over because I’d hate to see that keep Avery from working again! Y'all stop me when I stop lyin' bruh!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport
I have no proof that Avery jumped on his kid! This is completely my hilarious opinion!

Cuz I Know!

"Yeah, I'm bout to get up out of here bruh!"

Winston Churchill once said, “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” Vladimir Lenin gave it to us like this, “A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” Big Momma just kept it real by saying, “If you keep on lying baby, after a while you'll start to believe it. And that ain't good!”

Well homeboy, all of the talking heads have told us that Tim Tebow can't play quarterback in the NFL so much over the past year that boyz are starting to believe that it’s a fact. They’ve been telling us that because this dun can’t throw the football he's a lost cause. So therefore, in the experts opinion, he can’t play quarterback in the NFL. What they are telling us is that if you CAN'T throw you CAN'T play! So in other words, if you CAN throw you CAN play and be successfull! Right?

That sounds great as a talking point! However, it doesn’t logically make an ounce of sense because you’ve got at least 20 quarterbacks in the league that won’t make the playoffs this year that can throw the joint all over the field. There are 17 teams with losing records with boyz that can put it on the money.

Sam Bradford can hit a Lilliputian in the eye from 80 yards out bruh but he can’t win! Matt Cassel can give a lizard a wedgie from 50 yards out but he’s won 2 games in Kansas City! Cam Newton is the new prototype as far as skill set goes and he’s won 6 games, playa! The Minnesota Petersons have an Amber Alert out for Christian Ponder homie! So don't tell me that you gotta be able to throw the ball to be able to play! Now if you just don’t like Tebow then just admit to being a hater and I’ll move on. It’s just that simple!

Don’t tell me that the kid can’t play quarterback in the NFL when I watched him win 8 out of 9 games and lead the Broncos, who were 1-4 when he took over, to the playoffs and beat the Steelers. Don’t just act like that didn’t happen! There goes the clown in the background again, “Man that was all defense!” Was it all defense when they were 1-4 when they gave him the keys to the ride? I don't know about you, but every time I see this dun he's bumpin' that DJ Khaled, "All I do is win!" Would you rather ride with Tebow that has the "It Factor" or with some cat that can throw it 75 yards on a strike and lose? I'm just askin' bruh?

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! There have been tons of guys that have played quarterback in the NFL that were garbage and won. Remember the Punky QB Jim McMahon with the 1985 Chicago Bears? He was horrible from a skill set perspective but was a great leader. He managed the game without turning the ball over which allowed that Monsters of the Midway defense to win games.

Ever heard of a cat named Trent Dilfer? He was probably the worse quarterback in the history of the league to win a Super Bowl! Ray Lewis and Co. completely made up for his deficiencies! In both instances, they were given credit for leading their teams to victory. Not for being able to throw the football well because neither one of them could throw the ball over their shoulders. They were great leaders on the field and that's what Tebow is! He's proven it! Any cat that can take boyz talking about him all the time and not cursing everybody in the building out, including the little old lady in the cafeteria, is a proven leader!!

 How quickly do boyz forget that Big Ben was only allowed to manage the games during his first Super Bowl run? Now he’s the real deal but during that first Super Bowl run he was a manager of the games only.  Now I'm not suggesting that Tebow will win a Super Bowl or even make it deep into the playoffs during his career. However, I am saying that he can play quarterback in the NFL because I saw him do it with my own eyes. So in my G.I. vernacular, "Tell that to somebody who you know, don't know, cuz I know, playboy! I don't care if he pushes the ball down the field with his nose! If he can help you win, play him!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport

Listen To My Demo!

"I' ain't trippin'! This ain't nothin'!"

The famous author and sales guru Zig Ziglar once said, “Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale.” Oscar Wilde, the famed London playwright, once said, “When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I’m old I know that it is.” The Beatles said that the best things in life were free. I agree with them completely. However, until it becomes free to live in this world, I’ll stay in the bread line, pimpin’!

Well my boy Michael Vick is going to start for the Eagles in the season finale against the New York Giants on Sunday. He’s been cleared to play after suffering a concussion in a Nov. 11^th loss to the Cowboys. He’s also playing because rookie Nick Foles has a hairline fracture in his throwing hand suffered in the loss to the Redskins a week ago.  Now Mike is saying that he’s not using this start as an audition for teams next year. In my Ochocinco voice, “CHILD PLEASE!!”

This dun told the USA Today, "I'm not going out to audition for a job. I'm going out to try and win. My play and what I've done for this league and the accolades that I have speak for themselves. The thing I want to do is improve. Whatever happens next year happens. I'm just going to be a guy who, wherever I'm at, I'm going to make the team better."

C’mon Mike! You talkin’ to the brothas in the barber shop bruh! As long as it cost money to live out here, you gotta work or stop spending money. Especially the way you go through bread! Sure, I know you signed a 6 year $100 million deal last year but only $40 million of that is guaranteed and I know you still owe boyz major bread.  Ima tell you like we used to tell boyz when I was coming up in the G. “You better tell that to somebody who you know, don’t know, cuz I know! You better run that on down the street homeboy!”

Sunday will be the audition, the job interview, the demo, the screening and the dissertation playa! You better put on your best suit, a brand new pair of streakless underwear and go for broke because the league doesn’t care about what you used to do. It’s all Janet Jackson right now baby boy, “What have you done for me lately?” If you ain’t producing then you ain’t eatin'! So you can run that game on the whinno laying in the gutter outside of Mr. Lucky’s liquor store because we ain’t buying what you selling! Now we'll take some of those knock off Gucci joints though!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport

Reality Check

"They don't give these joints out for Christmas bruh!"

Albert Einstein once said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Malcolm X broke it down like this, “You’re not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.” Even the old jicks hanging out in front of the liquor store would say, “Man if we gone talk don’t lie to me. Otherwise, just give me 42 cents on this 40 ounce. As a matter of fact, just go head and buy the joint for me.”

This time last year all you saw or heard on TV, sports radio and every form of social media were boyz hatin’ on LeBron because he hadn’t won a title yet. Now after he and the Heat completely destroyed OKC in the Finals boyz have been as quite as a church mouse. I kept telling these clowns that it was just a matter of time. He was only 27 years old and up to this point he was the greatest basketball “PLAYER” (not scorer or finisher) we’ve ever seen. Yes, that includes Jordan too bruh! Like I’ve been saying for years Jordan didn’t sniff a Final or a title until he was 28 years old.

LeBron has been to 3 Finals won 3 MVP’s, swooped up 2 Gold Medals and an NBA title all by 27 homeboy! Not to mention that he’s 6’8” 260lbs with a 42 inch vertical, can run like a gazelle, play and defend all five positions all with a smile on his face. Y’all know the drill. I’ve said it a million times and even broke down all the facts in the Hot Joint entitled "Bamboozled" last summer. Now all of the experts are slowly coming around to my thinking on this cat. Coach K said shortly after the Olympics that LeBron was the MOST UNIQUE player he’s ever seen. Stop talking in code bruh!

Phil Jackson came out and said that he had all the tools to become better than Jordan. For y’all that can’t read between the lines. He’s saying just sit in the cut and watch this boy change the game because we’ve never seen anybody like this before. I’ve been telling boyz for years that you can’t compare an unfinished resume to a complete resume. It simply isn’t fair. You have to look at the careers by age in order to have the argument. That’s like me telling my 15 year old son that I make more bread than he does and I’m 30 years older than he is and been grinding longer. Lebron’s got 1 and Jordan’s got 6! Sounds stupid doesn’t it? Just be patient. Jordan didn't win all of those joints over night!

All you gotta do is pay attention to this cats game and it’ll tell you everything. He told you last week that it’s not his job to lead the league in scoring so he doesn’t. He only takes 18.2 field goal attempts per game. Why? Because he plays the game the way it’s supposed to be played. However, he has put up at least 20 points in all 24 games this season!

Ole boy said in that same interview, "If I wanted to, I could lead the league in scoring, but that's not my job here.” My job is to do a lot of everything -- rebounding, passing and defending so that takes away from my scoring. I've done (the scoring title in ‘07-’08 with 30ppg) before. I'm capable of doing it, but my game sometimes doesn't allow me to have those big nights."

That’s gangsta bruh! He’s telling you that scoring isn’t as important as winning to him. So he’s doing what it takes to win games and not lead the league in attempts or points. He’s currently ranked 5th with 25.2 ppg behind Kobe, Melo, Durant and Hardin.

When you look at career numbers LeBron is more concerned about getting other cats involved than just scoring. That's why boyz keep getting in line to play with him like Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis. If they win it again this year you'll see another influx of duns in Miami wanting to play with him too. It won't stop bruh!

 Over his career he’s averaged 27pts, 7 dimes and 7 Rb’s. Kobe is 25-5- 5, Melo is 24-3-6 and Durant is 26-2-7. My point is this stud could take over as a scorer but the game is bigger than just one cat scoring. Like I keep saying, “Just sit in the cut and wait for it. LeBron hasn’t even reached his prime yet bruh! I’m just sayin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

#LUCKSTRONG

"I got this homeboy!  Just made you sweat for entertainment purposes!"

An old Italian cat on the south side of Chicago once asked me if I believed in luck. I responded, “Well…I guess I do!” He smiled and said, “Listen youngster, luck is the intersection where opportunity and preparation meet.” I’ve later learned that you have to continuously drive down the street of preparation while diligently searching for opportunity because it only comes around every now and then if at all. So when you come across it you have to be ready for it.

Well you don’t have to ask the folks in Indianapolis if they believe in Luck because whether they did or not it’s been forced down their throats. Its 6’ 4” 234lbs with a rocket launcher tied to its shoulder walking around town daring boyz not to believe. On Sunday in Kansas City he broke Cam Newton’s single season rookie passing record of 4051 yards while pulling another blue and white rabbit out of his hat in the process. This dun led the Colts to its 7th fourth quarter comeback of the season with a 20-13 win over the Chiefs to clinch a playoff spot.

  Most of these duns in Indy were kicking and screaming back in March when the organization decided to let Peyton Manning go even though it made no sense to keep him. The Colts were the worse team in the league last year at 2-14 without Manning, had the 1st pick in April’s NFL Draft and had no choice but to use it. Luck was on deck and they didn’t need 2 quarterbacks that would cost them more than $56 million to keep. So Old Man Winter had to go.

 It wasn’t personal! It was business homeboy and Luck came in and took care of his! Most cats, including me, gave the Colts a slim chance of winning 4 games with the rookie but understood that his upside was crazy! What upside playa? This cat came in after driving down the road of preparation and just parallel parked the joint into opportunity blind folded, winning 10 games with the season finale coming up on Sunday at home against Houston!

Now a few weeks ago I had this one circled as a guaranteed “W.” Because I figured, like most folks, that the Texans would have already clinched home field so they would be resting boyz by now but they’ve been dull lately. They got blasted on Monday Night Football by Tom Brady & Co. 42-10 and on Sunday got the brakes beat off of them by the Minnesota Petersons 23-6 at the crib. So now they’ll come to Indy with something to play for…home field advantage.

For all of the clowns that were wearing Peyton Manning Denver Broncos jerseys to Colts games this year. You should be arrested on sight and charged with being a natural born hater and a fake Colts fan. Let me explain something to you homeboy! Either you are a fan of the team or you aren’t! You can’t be a Colts fan only if your favorite player is on the freaking team. That only makes you a fan of the player not the team so don’t start false flagging as a Colts fan now that they’re in the playoffs! Also tell the league office to go ahead and ship that Rookie of the Year joint on down to Indy and quit playing! #LUCKSTRONG

Holler At Yaw Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

The Megatron Rose

"Here you go pop but I still got work to do!" 

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.”  Oprah Winfrey gave it to us like this, “Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” There is an old African American proverb that says, “God makes three requests of his children. Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have.”

Ole Calvin Johnson has done just that bruh! Even though he’s playing on a terrible team and for a horrible franchise in Detroit he’s still managed to ball out this year. On Saturday night in the "D" he surpassed the NFL’s single season receiving yards mark previously held by the great Jerry Rice. The record was set in 1995 at 1,848 and Megatron broke the joint with an 11 reception 225 yard night to give him 1,892 yards for the season and he still has another game to play.  

It’s like the kid that grows up in the gutter and still believes that he or she can become something. The circumstances around them have no effect on their drive to become great. As a matter of fact, it fuels them to become even greater. I grew up with a lot of cats like that in the G! When Tupac wrote the poem “The Rose that Grew from Concrete” he wasn’t just making something up homeboy. Roses really do have a tendency of popping up in the weirdest places and on Saturday night one popped up in Motown wearing number 81!

Calvin Johnson’s receiving record is validation that you can be great despite your circumstances. When Jerry was ballin’ out of control he was on a winning team with a Hall of Fame quarterback throwing to him in Joe Montana and then he had Steve Young when he set the record. Megatron is out here with the Bad News Bears that are 4-11 on the year. So what he’s done is far more impressive! Not taking anything away from Jerry but it's a whole lot easier to ball when you're winning than losing.

Boyz don’t like to hear this but Megatron needs to get out of the ghetto now and move to the suburbs because he’s out grown the joint. Yeah, I know that he just signed a new 8 year deal that runs through 2019 worth $132 million but you know that he doesn’t want to lose until then? But he might be stuck at this point bruh!

For the cat in the background screaming "The Lions were in the playoffs last year homeboy!" I know, but that was an anomaly bruh! The Lions are one of the worse franchises in all of pro sports and they'll always be a doormat in the NFL, pimpin'! You sound like a delusional Cubs fan saying wait until next year!

I’m not one of these cats that thinks you gotta live in the ghetto to be loyal to it and give back! In my opinion, you don't do the hood any justice if you never leave it. You gotta show cats that it's another world out here and show them what it takes to get out too!

I didn’t work my tail off to get through college and hustle in Corporate America to live in the ghetto so that some cat can climb through my window at night or in the middle of the freaking day with me in it. That'll depend on how they get down where you're from homie! Either way bruh, it’s called losing! Unfortunately, that’s what Calvin Johnson is doing right now in the D! I know he’s gassed up about the record but it would be sweeter if he was going to the playoffs instead of getting ready for exit interviews week after next.

I know he’d rather be playing somewhere that at least had some hope of making the playoffs every year but he’s stuck in Detroit because he was looking at the bread back in March when he signed the new deal.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I know that we all chased money at first but after you get to a certain point financially it doesn’t matter. After you get to point where all the bills are getting paid and there’s extra bread to play with, job offers come down to quality of life and convenience not the 10 to 15K more that a boy offers you. Megatron can’t do any less with $100 million than $132 million, just ask LeBron about that! That’s real talk!

So at this point I know he’d rather be playing for a winner and making $100 million than a perennial loser and making $132 million! Being a hot cat on a losing team is like rolling through the projects in a Benz! It's ghetto fabulous playa! Stop me when I start lyin’! Big Shout to Megatron for ballin’ in a bad situation!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Punk'd

"I got whatever you bringin' homeboy!"

One thing is for certain and two fa sho; there is always a cat out there that is just as bad as you think that you are. If you keep on living and keep trying to punk folks you’ll run into him and he’ll give you the business. That’s why if you haven’t run into him yet, you need to slow your roll or get in shape because he’s comin’!

The New York Knicks ran into that dun on Friday night in a dark alley with no cell phone to call for help! The Chi-town Playas rolled into town and commenced to puttin’ that thang on them for the 2nd time this season beating them 110-106. Now the score was in no way indicative of the beat down the Bulls put on these boyz  to embarrass them in front of Big Momma and nem. Pookie and Ray Ray were running late so they only saw the 4th quarter.

You remember back in the day when a cat would keep talking noise on the walk home from school to the same dun because he knew he could handle him? Then one day ole boy just put his books down and charged him before he even realized it! By the time the dust settled the bully had been bullied!

 The Knicks have been out here punkin’ boyz all season long with Melo going to work every night.  After being up by 25 in the third the Bulls were all in the Knicks head before Melo & Co. lost all composer and resorted to gang bangin’! With 6:45 left in the 4th Melo drew his 2nd technical foul off of an intentional hard foul on Noah and was tossed. Then Tyson Chandler finally had enough of Joakim and tried to fight ole boy in the parking lot going after a rebound and y'all know Joakim wasn't having that so they both got ejected. You know he's the new Dennis Rodman out here because he’ll aggravate folks until they just explode. Pure genius!

You know that it’s on when a cat comes to your house and gets you kicked out of it. The Bulls are those dudes bruh! It doesn’t matter what your reputation is or how bad you think you are, Noah & the Chi-town Hustla's will rattle you and stay in a position to beat you every night.

In this case they punk’d the Knicks from the word go at the crib, took their sneakers and their girls and got on a flight!  They held the Knicks to a season low of 85 points and 32.1 percent shooting in an 8 point loss on Dec 8th in the Chi and then beat the doors off of them on Friday night in the Big Apple! Can you say UNCLE?

All I’ve got to say is, “If you gone be tough, be tough when tough guys roll down your block! Otherwise, you’ll get the reputation of being that dude that boyz can just punk with no consequences!"

Here's a piece of advice for the Knicks, "Come playoff time, put your big boy jerseys on or stay at the crib!" Because in my Puff Daddy voice, "It's real in the field!"

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

The ALL DAY Playa

"I'm takin' boyz lunch money & sneakers on my way to the house!"

The definition of valuable is a thing that is of great worth or something that has considerable usefulness. When we use the term Most Valuable, we are saying that there is nothing else that is more useful. So if we’re using the term Most Valuable Player, we are saying that the cat has the greatest worth to his team and therefore the team wouldn’t be as good without him! Correct?

Therefore, if we are in agreement to those facts then why is there even a discussion about who should be the MVP of the NFL this year! Adrian (All Day) Peterson is clearly the MVP bruh! I keep hearing boyz hollering from the roof tops that Peyton Manning should be the guy. Then if you’re listening to the duns on the east coast you’ll hear the Tom Brady argument. All I’ve got to say is, those teams can win without those two! Minnesota is a complete train wreck without A.D.

How boyz forget that last year the Denver Broncos were still a playoff team with Tim Tebow down the stretch. They still won the AFC West and beat Pittsburgh in the first round of the playoffs before getting their doors blown off at New England 45-10 finishing 9-9. Yeah, they’ve got Peyton but they’ve only won a few more games with him.

Everybody loves Tom Brady but the system is the most valuable player in New England homeboy. Folks forgot all about how Ole Tom got hurt in 2008 and Matt Cassel came off of the bench and won 11 ball games. Now this dun hadn’t started a football game since high school at the time. He played at USC and set behind Matt Leinart for 4 years and then sat behind Brady for 3 years before getting a chance to play. So how valuable can a boy be if a dude that hadn’t played since high school (2001) can just show up and win 11 games? I’m just sayin’!

When A.D. got hurt last year the Vikings went 3-13. They’re 8-6 with him this year and he’s the only weapon they have. They’ve got no quarterback or receivers whatsoever and every defense in the league knows that this cat is coming down hill and they can’t stop him. He’s put up 1,812 yards this season and he only needs 294 to break Eric Dickerson’s single season rushing record. He’s done this with no other weapons on the field bruh!

This ain’t Pop Warner, high school or even college football, playa! It’s the freaking NFL!!! Everybody in the building and even the blind man sitting in the parking lot knows he’s about to tote the rock and he’s gashing boyz in the process! How in the world can you bring up Tom Brady or Peyton Manning when this cat is man handling defenses on his own right now? I mean he's doing everything for the Vikings but the laundry bruh!

Not only is he running past boyz, he’s hunting down DB’s in the secondary on his way to the end zone! He’s not dodging contact at all and making cats pay for letting HIM score. How crazy is that? He's like the street gang in the ghetto making boyz pay tolls to walk to school. He's in complete control of NFL defenses and he's got these cats screaming "Uncle" by the 4th quarter!

 Get off of Brady and Manning‘s jock and look at this for what it is. This isn’t the 1980’s where the standard operating procedure is to run the football all game. This is 2012 where the league rules have catered the game to quarterbacks being able to pass for 4,700 to 5,000 yards per year.  Minnesota doesn’t have a quarterback in the state homeboy!! A.D. is pulling a Kobe every Sunday and running down hill ALL DAY! If he doesn’t win the MVP it would be a highway robbery of great proportions!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

"Drunk vs. Drunk-er"

"Man, I wish that I could put the world in reverse bruh!"

Sigmund Freud once said, “Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.” George Washington said, “Let us raise a standard to which the wise and honest can repair; the rest is in the hands of God.” My man Ben Franklin shut the building down when he said, “Tricks and treachery are the practice of fools, that don’t have brains enough to be honest.”

I think ole Ben must have been talking about all of these clowns that are piling on the Dallas Cowboys right now for allowing Josh Brent to be on the sideline this past Sunday during the Pittsburgh game. Boyz went into an uproar because he was on the sideline with his teammates while he’s out on bond after being charged with intoxication manslaughter for the death of teammate Jerry Brown Jr.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The same fans that were hollering and screaming at this cat for being on the sideline Sunday had been drinking since they got up to go to the game. They were drunk while they were at the game and drove to the crib drunk after the game! Now does it make it right because they drove home drunk and didn't kill anybody or wrong because Josh Brent did and happened to kill his boy? They both put the gun to their heads playing Russian Roulette but it only went off on Brent and his boy. I'm just sayin'!

I’m a sports junkie and I’ve been going to sporting events my entire life. The major difference between a college sporting event and a professional sporting event is that at the pro game it’s legal to sell alcohol. So boyz not only show up drunk from tailgating but they get to keep drinking for 3 quarters of the game. Then they all get in the ride and drive home, drunk. But those same duns have a problem with ole boy being on the sideline?

Now if Jerry Brown’s momma is cool with him being around the team then who are you to tell her how she should feel? You didn’t even know the cat and you’re piling on because you think that it’s the right thing to do. See Jerry’s mom lives in the same world that I live in. She lives in the world of what is and not the world of what should be.

On some real talk, she understands full well that the situation could have been reversed and Brent could have been killed and her baby could have been the one charged with his death. If we’re gonna talk then let’s talk turkey bruh! We can’t just put all of the blame on Brent. Sure, he was drunk and shouldn’t have been driving but his boy was probably drunk too. Normally if two cats are leaving the club, the completely sober cat isn’t going to let the drunk cat drive them both home.  So it comes down to a question of Drunk vs. Drunk-er and who’s gonna drive? They both gambled and lost bruh! It’s just not on Brent and that’s why Jerry's mother was so quick to forgive him. That’s called love and understanding homeboy!

Am I justifying this clown breaking the law and driving while intoxicated? Not at all! However, I’m just explaining to you why his teammates and Jerry's mom realize that the situation could have been reversed and you just can’t throw a boy out to the wolves because he messed up. He’s already facing jail time and the life long guilt of killing his boy and that ain’t going away playa.

 Like I said before, I’m just glad that God is God all by himself and isn’t asking all of these hypocrites out here for advice. You’re drunk but complaining about a fellow drunk being on the sideline and you drove home drunk with a freaking Dallas Cowboy jersey on too. You should have been arrested  for DUI and beaten for impersonating a funny built football player!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

The Bypass

Tebow: "Are you freaking kidding me?" Sanchez: "Naw, they ain't bruh!"

The famed British author J.K. Rowling once said, “It is our choices… that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” The holistic health guru Deepak Chopra said it this way, “You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence, we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices.”

Well…ole Rex Ryan found himself in that field of choice making this week when he had no other choice but to bench dull Mark Sanchez. In my opinion, he should have been benched 5 weeks into the season instead of waiting until they were completely dead in the water. Then this dun bypasses Tim Tebow and promotes Greg McElroy, the 3rd team Joe, to the starting position. This is the same clown that threw his teammates under the bus and backed over them at the end of the season last year.

"It's definitely not a fun place to be, I can assure you," McElroy said on Birmingham, Ala., radio station 97.3 The Zone. "It's the first time I've ever been around extremely selfish individuals. I think that's maybe the nature of the NFL, but there were people within our locker room that didn't care whether we won or lost as long as they ... had really had good games individually."

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Cats that have grown up in the hood understand one thing very clearly. Beef ain’t over until they say it’s over! Don’t think for one minute that out of that 53 man roster more than half of those cats didn’t grow up in the hood. So now the same dun that has been alienated by them all season is now their leader? Good luck with that bruh!

The Jets are already out of playoff contention and you make the team rat the starting quarterback? C’mon Rex you’ve gotta have more sense than that! I know you didn’t grow up in the hood but you’ve been coaching long enough to know how boyz think. I wouldn’t be surprised if they just let the other team abuse McElroy for a minute on GP just to teach him a lesson.

Everybody has choices to make and this dun made his last year. That team isn’t going to play for him or ever respect him again because he took family business to the street. See when you’re the 3rd string quarterback you’re never thinking that you could become the starter. So McElroy thought that he could chill on the bench for a few years collect a check and then go back to Alabama where life would be good. He could coach or work in an administrative position in the football program because he won a national title and live happily ever after. Now he still could do that but he’s got to deal with this demon right now.

At least Tebow is a man’s man and the fellas would rally around him because he’s got the “IT FACTOR” and no enemies. Now say what you will about him but he does win football games and you paid the dun $5 million to show up. So why bring him in if you aren’t going to use him at all? An old Chinese proverb says, “A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion.” Well, that Asian never met Tim Tebow because Rex should have listened to public opinion, gone out in a blaze of fire and at least sold more tickets by playing Tebow if he isn't going to the playoffs anyway.

Like I said last year in the Hot Joint entitled, "The Firm," players don’t win titles, organizations do! Rex Ryan will be fired for the choices that he’s made and another clown that makes the same bad decisions will take over because it’s the J.E.T.S Jets, Jets, Jets and that's just how they get down bruh! SMH!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Amend This!!

"The numbers don't lie homeboy!"

Confucius once said, “The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential…these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” Winston Churchill gave it to us like this, “Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence, is the key to unlocking our potential.”

However, in order to use all of that potential you’ve got to be alive bruh. That’s the X-factor that nobody wants to talk about. When Benji Wilson, probably the greatest high school basketball player to ever live, was murdered in 1984 he was using all of that potential. When Jovan Belcher killed his girlfriend and then himself, his 3 month old baby girl hadn’t even began to understand what potential was.

The homicide rate in Chicago has gone over 400 this year and all of those young cats are being buried with their potential in their back pockets. When I was growing up in Gary, In., that has been known as the murder capital of the U.S. on more occasions than I care to remember, potential has always been left on the side of the road with boyz dying young homeboy. The 20 children at Sandy Hook Elementary school were killed while discovering their potential.

They didn’t all die simply because some cat was mad or upset. They all died because some cat was mad or upset with a gun in his hand! Folks blow me away always wanting to scream the Second Amendment but have no idea the history of it. The Second Amendment (Amendment II) to the United States Constitution is the part of the United States Bill of Rights that protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms. However, it was adopted on December 15, 1791, along with the rest of the Bill of Rights.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The early American settlers viewed the right to arms or the right to bear arms for the purpose of deterring undemocratic government, repelling invasion, suppressing insurrection, facilitating a natural right of self-defense, participating in law enforcement and enabling the people to organize a militia system.

None of these duns that are committing these crimes are participating in any of those activities when innocent people are being killed. Were the cats at Columbine organizing a militia or deterring an undemocratic government when they shot up the joint killing 12 people? Was the clown that shot up the movie theater in Aurora Colorado killing 12 and injuring 58 repelling an invasion? Are all of the kids in the ghetto that die from gun violence everyday being killed because some cat is participating in law enforcement or suppressing insurrection?

Naw bruh, it’s because the Second Amendment that was adopted in 1791 is no longer suitable for 2012 and beyond. The world has changed and the statistics show that more often than not a person with a gun becomes the aggressor and not the person trying to protect his or herself. I know there are cats that hunt and I’m cool with that but boyz that are hunting don’t need a chopper or any other semi-automatic weapon unless they’re hunting human beings like all of the above examples show. So don’t talk to me about the Second Amendment when folks are hunting down more human beings than deer!

I can hear some clown in the background right now saying, “I’ve got guns but they’re all locked up in a safe at the crib but I need them to protect myself.” Listen here playa, if a boy comes through your window in the middle of the night. He’s gonna be in your bed before you can unlock the safe so it’s a waste of time for you to have it.

Ole girl who’s son just shot up Sandy Hook was a gun collector that kept them in a safe place too. The only problem was that she showed her mentally ill son how to shoot them and how to get them out of the safe! Now 26 people are dead because she had the right to possess them and she wasn’t responsible enough to have them. Now when you can show me that more lives are being saved than taken as a result of having them in this sick world, I’ll agree with you.

The problem is, I live in the world of what is and not the world of what should be! Boyz have been dying in the hood from gun violence my entire life so you can’t tell me that they are saving lives because I didn’t read about it, I’ve seen it first hand! But on some real talk, the cats selling guns this morning are making more bread than ever before because when these types of situations occur the more guns go out of the door! It never ends bruh! Y’all stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport

The Burning Sands (Hot Reprint: Why Pro Athletes Shouldn't Get Married)

"Only the chosen few can cross these joints and survive!"

“Young, Rich and Dangerous” was the title of the last CD of the famed hip hop rap group Kriss Kross in 1996. It should however, be the soundtrack of your life, at least for now. You’re a 25 year old professional athlete and you’ve just signed a brand new 5 year deal worth more than 80 million dollars. The “Young and Rich” part you get, but “Dangerous” you don’t agree with, right?

 See, you’re not the one that’s necessarily dangerous, however the world that you’ve just been thrown into is. Look into my crystal ball young brother. You still can’t wrap your mind around just how much 80 million dollars is, but you have a pretty good idea of what you can do with it. Just about anything you’ve ever wanted to do.

See money is like alcohol it doesn’t change you, it just brings out what’s already inside of you. In 2007 B.M., that’s “Before Money”, you were the big man on campus (BMOC) with a girlfriend. However, the coeds just kept finding their way into your dorm room uninvited. That’s what happens when you’re the most popular guy on campus. Now that you’ve got the money and fame the campus just got bigger. You travel from coast to coast playing ball and in every night club you hit, every guy in the place wants to be you and every woman in the place wants be with you.

 That’s a drug all to itself and it’s easy to overdose on that combination. Now I’m not saying that all men cheat, what I am saying is that all men are human. So if you’re away from home 30 out of the 52 weeks in a year for sometimes weeks at a time, with women doing everything they can to get at you, that becomes a bit too much to handle. I’m not talking about your everyday women. I’m talking about cosmetic 10’s, the movie star types that follow you around like a puppy.

See we can’t compare a pro athlete to the normal working class family man. The normal guy has to typically initiate contact with a woman. So he has to at least be mischievous enough to play with the matches to start a fire. With a pro ball player… he’s running through the forest while it’s already burning. Women are constantly following these guys from city to city and many times even making their way into hotel rooms uninvited. Sound familiar? Now I’m not saying that all women are groupies, I am saying that all of the women that are constantly in your face are. It’s like being a drug addict and saying that you’re going over to the drug house just to play dominos.

Let’s face it some lifestyles aren’t conducive to having monogamous relationships. I don’t care if she was your college or high school sweetheart. When you guys met you were broke and women weren’t showing up at all hours of the night uninvited and undressed. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The woman that you decide to marry knows full well that she isn’t the only one. So who’s fooling who, especially if she met you in 2012 A.M., that’s “After Money”.

 Even if you think that you love her you aren’t mature enough to handle what’s coming your way on a daily basis. I just think that you should wait until after you retire when you’re settled enough to be someone’s husband and father. Your lifestyle will have changed by then and you won’t be in the hot spots all over the country, nightly. By the time you’re in your late 30’s or early 40’s you’ll be ready.

There’s no rule to say that you have to marry young i.e. Tiger, Kobe etc. You’ll also meet women that should be well into their careers by then… ladies that have more to lose than some young groupie trying to get pregnant and paid at your expense. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s some old groupies out there too but when you’re older you’ll at least be able to recognize the game. That will keep you from getting caught up at the minimum.

 I strongly believe in the full sanctity of marriage because I've been in the game for nearly eleven years and it should never be disrespected. So before you try to join my frat and cross these burning sands my brother think long and hard about what you're doing. You’ll have to get rid of all the girlfriends and be able to keep your butt at home however, in the mist of being a professional athlete that’s virtually impossible. So your application has been denied.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Twitter: @jaygravesreport

"Say It Loud"

"I've got nothing to prove baby boy!"

When James Brown wrote the hit song “Say It Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud in 1968 he didn’t ask folks for their ghetto pass nor did he ask for them to take a test to prove whether they were black enough to sing along.  Now at that time we all lived in the same neighborhoods and spoke the same language because of the limited access we had to the world because of segregation. However, since that time black folks have been able to go off to the schools of their choice and reside in whatever neighborhoods they could afford to live in.

So therefore, in that span of 40 plus years because we’ve had the opportunity to spread our wings in this country we don’t all speak in the same vernacular and grow up with the same experiences.

That’s why I’m blown away that ESPN’s Rob Parker, a brother, would try to authenticate RG3’s blackness on First Take this past Thursday. Now while we're on some REAL TALK we can't let ESPN off the hook for throwing the blood in the water but Parker was the only one dumb enough to bite. Then they've got the nerve to fire him for eating.

This dun went on to ask the question, "Is he a brother or a cornball brother?" While he’s sitting there looking like the chapter president of the revenge of the nerds he put RG3 on blast. He then went on to say that he wanted to find out more about Griffin and how he deals with black teammates and others in Washington. Now even if he felt that way you never blast family in public. 

"We all know he has a white fiancée," he said. "There was all this talk about he's a Republican, which, there's no information [about that] at all. I'm just trying to dig deeper as to why he has an issue. Because we did find out with Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods was like, I've got black skin, but don't call me black. So people got to wondering about Tiger Woods early on."

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes first! RG3 is representing the brotherhood well! He graduated from Baylor in 3 years, won the Heisman Trophy, was the #2 pick overall in the 2012 NFL draft, is balling out of control and has been a model citizen. I’d say that he’s the type of black man that I’d want my son to aspire to become. Who cares what his girl looks like bruh or how he votes? The fact that he's a multi-millionaire wouldn't make it odd for him to be a Republican if he was.

Would Parker be more satisfied if ole boy couldn’t complete a sentence, had a gold grill in his mouth, walked around with his pants falling off of him and carrying a gun? That doesn’t represent the brotherhood well. That makes us look like fools and increases the statistic of us being unproductive. I'm ridin' with him on GP because he looks like me and when the world sees him they see my son! If he does well that opens more doors for my children. If he represents poorly it closes those same doors homeboy! See if a white kid goes out and acts a fool. He's an idiot all by himself. If a black kid does the same thing he represents us all. So we're pulling for RG3 to make good on all of that potential on and off of the field!

What blows me away is that some black folks only think that you have to be from the ghetto and poor to be black. At one point in time that was the case because we’ve all come from nothing. However, time and opportunity has changed many of our kid’s experiences and they don’t all include the ghetto homeboy.

 Both my wife and I are from Gary, In. one of the toughest places in America. We had the same experiences that every kid in the ghetto had because we were all forced to live in the same neighborhoods and go to the same schools even though our parents were middle class. My father was a pharmacist, my mother was a school teacher, her dad was a steel worker and her mother was blessed to be a stay at home mom. So even though we were brought up as middle class kids our experience was no different from the other kids around us because we couldn’t live in the suburbs at that time.

Since then we’ve been blessed to move into the upper middle class and therefore our kids don’t have the slightest clue of what the ghetto is and I’m not ashamed of that homeboy! So by dull Rob Parker’s definition my kids don’t make the black cut either.

I know that I can speak for all of the brothers that have spread their wings out here with me. We won’t apologize for our ability to provide for our families and expose our children to a world that we didn’t know existed until we were grown. If corn ball is making the honor roll every marking period, being very articulate, keeping their pants around their waists and saying yes sir and no mam when they’re speaking to adults then we'll embrace that label for our kids because their futures will be bright.

 If knowing all the lyrics to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift joint along with bumpin' some Rihanna make them not  black enough for your book, then I’m cool with that too because your book ain’t selling anymore pimpin’!  Down for the cause means representing the brotherhood well and a college educated brother playing pro ball making millions of dollars and not ending up on the police blotter is what's happening. 

In 1984 when the Cosby Show came on TV it inspired a whole generation of black kids to become something that most folks thought was impossible for them to do. He was a doctor and his wife was a lawyer and they were both black. Now I can’t begin to count the number of friends that I have that live that exact same life. Are their kids not black enough Rob Parker because they may view the world like RG3 does?  Maybe our kids think you’re a corn ball brother for trying to tear down a cat that’s nothing short of a great role model. Y’all can stop me when I start lyin’ bruh!

Holla At Ya Boy!

Jay Graves

Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Again Dawg?

"Sorry homeboy but I gotta do this to you!"

Ben Franklin kept it simple by just saying, “It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.” Stephen Covey gave it to us like this, “Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.”

So I guess the Lakers have picked up some bad habits huh bruh! After getting the doors blown off of them in New York 116-107 on Thursday night we can officially call them losers. Believe me homeboy, the score was in no way indicative of the mauling that Kobe and his boyz got at Madison Square Garden. By the end of the first quarter the Knicks were up 41-27 and the joint was about to turn into a complete carjacking. The only thing that saved them from being worked over and not being able to be identified was the fact that Melo got hurt (ankle) and had to leave the game.

This dun scored 30 points in 22 minutes and was launching boyz from Penn Station! He wasn’t even in the building on half of the shots that he took. Ole boy was in a zone last night and the Lakers looked like they were prepared to take it. Their body language to a man including Kobe said, “Thank you big brother sir! May I have another?” The whole team was in the cut all night. Sure, they made a run after Melo left the game but they still looked like a beaten team even during the late comeback.

Now that they’re losing it’s gonna take a change in mentality to get them back on track. Maybe they need to hire Phil to do some consulting work 3 days a week to remind them of where they went wrong. Maybe he can put on his 11 rings and roller skate through the building on that bad hip singing some Leona Lewis, "I'm the best you ever had." I can hear him now, "I was so in love with you, There was nothing I could do, Wouldn't give me the time of day, Now you wanna be with me." He's got on the full purple and gold cat suit with the pom poms hanging off of the skates too.

All of the experts say that it takes 21 days to form a habit so the Lakers are well on their way. In a few more days boyz will be able to just show up and beat these cats because there won’t be any fight left.  It’s like the old drunk standing in front of the liquor store and some dumb kids run up and take his cart that he keeps all of his belongings in. He’s so out of it that he doesn’t even fight for it. That’s the Lake Show at this point bruh!

 My man Aristotle would be disappointed in these cats right now because they’ve always listened to him especially when he said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” That has always made sense to them as an organization and now that Jerry’s son Jim is running the joint they’re listening to duns like Lil’ Wayne when he’s on the syrup.

What’s so crazy is that Laker fans keep banking on the fact that 137 year old Steve Nash may be coming back not understanding that he’s a complete liability on defense. This joint is a train wreck and it’s a shame that Kobe has to get caught up on it as he finishes his career. On some real talk, he could just jump off and nobody would blame him! Well I would, because I love watching all these trash talking Laker fans hide from boyz right now!

 It's like when ole boy "C" in the movie a Bronx Tale was chasing his partner around because he owed him $20 and Sonny said, "Think of it this way C, it cost you $20 to get rid of him." Now we don't have to listen to these duns talk crazy all year. We just have to listen to delusional Knicks fans now because they don't understand that Melo and Amare' can't play together. So when they both are healthy come playoff time they'll be a joke again!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

"The Smoke Breaker"

"C'mon bruh not again! Just let me get at that Black & Mild in my sock!"

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar once said, “I think the NBA players have to be held accountable in a reasonable way, just like any other professionals.” Old man Mr. Willie at the convenience store on the block always said, “I’m not gonna pay you to stand around bruh. So if you want this money, you're gonna have to earn it.”

Dwayne Wade needed to work for Mr. Willie when he was coming up because he would have understood that concept very well. As the Miami Heat were in a battle last night with the red hot Golden State Warriors, who have now won 5 straight, D. Wade took that notorious smoke break again. The Heat was eventually stunned with .9 seconds left on a dull lay up by rookie Draymond Green to lose 97-95.

My problem isn’t with the loss because teams will lose ball games because it’s the NBA. You can’t win them all but you need to be competitive in all of them. D. Wade only put 14 points in the kitty again while Bosh gave up his normal 21 points and LeBron threw his normal 30 plus in with 31 points.

Wade is starting to be that cat that never has any money when the fella’s hook up to get it in and is always looking for somebody to sponsor him tonight. You know that dun bruh? The guy that shows up at the club and doesn’t say a word until you get to the door and then says, “Man can you pay for me to get in tonight? I'll get you back later.” Then when boyz start buying rounds he’s got the second round but hooks up with a chick in the corner when it’s his turn to buy. When you signal over to him to buy his round he signals back, I'm on something bruh hold up and never buys! Yeah, that guy!

I know y’all saw Wade disappear again last night when he got poked in the eye, got bumped and went down like he got shot in an alley. C’mon playa, you gotta have more in you than that! You grew up in the Chi so if nothing else you should to be able to play through some cat poking you in the eye or at least be able to walk off of the court to get treatment. This dun laid down like they needed to get the paramedics out there. Also, what’s with him always being on the floor? When ever he takes a shot he ends up on his back. He needs a helmet and shoulder pads on at this point.

In order for the Heat to make a run again this year D. Wade has got to step his game up and quit being soft on the floor and chill out on them Black & Mild’s in the parking lot during the game! How many smoke breaks did he take during the playoffs last season? He's starting to become as soft as drugstore cotton candy and that ain’t gonna fly this year because boyz are gunning for them in 2013! I'm just sayin'!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Kick Me Please!!

"Somebody help me please! I'm drowning out here bruh!"

People want to act like bullying just started a few years ago. Boyz have been bullying cats since the beginning of time bruh! You can go all the way back to David and Goliath in the bible. You even had boyz on the cartoons gettin' in like Bluto giving it to Popeye, Tom trying to abuse Jerry or Wile E. Coyote terrorizing the Road Runner! The only difference now is that kids are too soft to defend themselves because their parents have become soft too.

That's the Lakers right now bruh! They went up to Cleveland and let one of the revenge of the nerds, complete with a pocket protector, broken glasses and floods, beat them 100-94! You know its bad when you show up to play the Cavs and get beat by duns like C.J. Miles, Anderson Varejao and Alonzo Gee!

That’s like the kid that starts on one end of the hall and somebody puts the "Kick Me Please!" sign on his back. He's confused when the first dun squares off on  him but can't understand why everybody else is swinging a foot at him too as he walks by!

Instead of beating the brakes off of the first cat that kicked him he accepts that he's worth getting kicked. That’s the Lakers mind set at this point! They’re in the bathroom between classes getting jumped by some chicks and giving up their sneakers in the process.

I just want to know where all of the clowns are that were screaming NBA title back in August when they started putting this joke of a squad together. You got 137 year old Steve Nash that can’t play because he’s old and riddled with a leg injury. Then Pau has "sore knees" or just a bruised ego depending upon which direction the wind is blowing and you got Kobe that is ready to fight anybody right now. Did I forget Buster Brown? I didn’t but I’m tired of riding him so I’ll pass on Mr. Soft as Drugstore Cotton Candy today.

The Black Mamba put the team on his back by putting up 42 points last night. He scored16 in the fourth quarter, homeboy. He’s still a beast but when he goes off like that it never translates into wins! When Kobe scores 30 or more points they're 1-10! It’s like when you get into an argument about Jordan vs LeBron and the first thing Jordan fans bring up is the 63 MJ put up in the Garden in 1986! That’s the first thing they throw out there but they never remember that the Bulls lost that game. The 63 points was for nothing if he didn't win the game bruh! In my Sherm Edwards voice, "HELLO, YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!"

Kobe put up 42 last night but he only had 2 assists and 1 steal! The game before that against Utah he had 34 points and 3 assists! There are 4 other cats on the floor and in order to win you’ve got to get them involved regardless of what you think of their skill sets. You can’t win by scoring crazy points every night playa unless you're sharing the rock like my boy Lebron does! He'll go off for 45 but will have 15 dimes and 9 rebounds! So he actually hit you for 75 points bruh at the minimum! So which cat would you rather have on your team, the dun that scores 63 in a loss or a cat that accounted for 75 in a win? I'm just sayin'!

It wasn't until Jordan got with Phil that he learned that bruh! You've got to involve other guys in order to win. Kobe keeps putting boyz on his back but he keeps drowning. He keeps ending up at the bottom of the pool cursing with a bunch of guys on his back. So why is he drowning? Cuz Phil ain't there!!

Listen closely Laker fans! You aren’t even the best team in your building!! So stop trying to sell me the Lakers right now because it only makes it worse. You’re starting to become delusional people and that’s not good because they're always the duns that get into to fights in the parking lot at work because boyz ARE gonna ride you when you lose.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Natural Born Hustla's

"Oh yeah, tell ya momma I said wassup too!"

Sometimes things aren’t always what they appear to be. Big Momma always said, “Just wait a while baby, people will tell you who they are when things get tight. They can only fake it for so long and then the pressure forces them to show who they really are. Just wait on it."

Well the Houston Texans have been in school pushing boyz around and going through the nerd’s pockets in the cafeteria all season long. They had the best record in the league (11-1) going into Monday night’s game in Foxboro against the Patriots. Tom Brady and his homies have been sitting in the cut watching the Texans fill their pockets with cats IPod’s, headphones, boyz lunch money and they’ve even taken a few cats women along the way.

However, they waited until Monday Night Football so that the whole school could see it and they beat the brakes off of the Texans 42-14! They made sure that all of the rival street gangs were watching so that they wouldn’t have to say it again. It’s December and that belongs to New England bruh. Don’t come around here false flagging homeboy because this is not a game. This is grown man business!

What was so crazy about this ball game was that the stats were pretty much the same. Patriots only ran 5 more plays than the Texans(70-65). Both quarterbacks had the same number of attempts and completions (21-36) where Brady had 289 yards vs. Schaub’s 223 yards. The rushing attempts/yards were about the same NE 33/130 vs. Houston 27/100, turnovers were equal at 1 a piece and time of possession was the same NE 30:49 vs. Houston 29:11. So what was the difference?  The score homeboy and the fact that the Patriots have been there before! They were a well oiled machine clicking on all cylinders!

The lights were too bright for Houston and they showed who they really were. In my Denny Green voice, “They are who we thought they were!” Just another young cat trying to hustle and get on but when the kingpin showed up he dropped his weight and ran to the crib. Texans fans, you can’t say that you just made too many mistakes or that the turnovers killed you. Well I guess you could say that! You made the mistake of turning over and getting out of the bed to go to New England in the first place.

The game of football is like the streets because once you get involved in it you can’t hide from it. If you’re faking the funk the natural born hustla's WILL come and get you. You can fool some of the people all of the time but the real G’s know where to find you and they will make you give it up.

Don't try to say that it was an off night because an off night is getting beat by a touchdown or two. Y'all got beat by a truck load of them joints! They ran out of touchdowns and had to order some more from another store.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

Power Ball

"Doesn't matter what you call them bruh! They all spell money!"

I’m always blown away by the amount of folks that have sports talk radio and television shows that don’t know the first thing about sports! I’m not talking about the games themselves, I’m talking about the business that drives the game. Then they make ignorant comments to an audience that will believe everything that they say because they’re viewed as the expert. So as a result you have a nation of sports fans that don’t understand what’s going on either.

 Major college football is a beast all to itself and in order to talk about it you’ve got to understand how, why and what drives it. If you don’t understand how it’s set up and the history of it you’ll never understand the business of it from the school’s perspective. That’s why I’m here bruh!

This isn’t the NFL where all of the teams are owned by billionaires where there is a profit sharing situation going on and the league mandates a draft that allows the worse teams to draft first to keep things honest. It’s all done to try to provide a since of parity so that the same teams don’t always have a financial or competitive advantage over the others. Now on some real talk, some organizations are just better run than others so they win anyway. In college football the rich get richer because they get better players every year and therefore they keep winning.

The division 1 or FBS level that it’s now called has 120 schools that probably represent 5 different levels of play because of their ability or inability to recruit. It’s not like the NFL where everybody has professional level talent. So therefore, when I hear clowns suggest that they should eliminate the bowl system all together so that there can be a playoff they aren’t looking at the entire landscape of college football. They’re only thinking about those teams that would be competing for a national title. What do you do with the other 110 schools or so?

There are 34 bowls that will kick off later this week that will run through the holidays and will culminate with the BCS National Title Game on January 7th. That means that 68 of those 120 schools get to participate in the bowl season. Not just the 4, 8 or 16 teams that these media clowns keep pushing you to buy going forward. The first thing these cats will say is that the smaller bowls are meaningless and that they are a waste of time. When they make comments like that it shows just how ignorant they are to what’s really going on or how bad they're trying to run game on you!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The bowls are guaranteed revenue for both the schools and conferences alike and no president is going to vote to eliminate guaranteed money to have a full fledged playoff that may or may not include them. Schools are constantly looking for revenue streams and college football is the biggest money maker on just about every campus in America. Football revenue not only supports the athletic departments but it also pays for all new construction on campus and all of the research done in the science, math and physics departments. So it’s bigger than just playing football homeboy, its big business for the school.

Do you really think that Cincinnati and Duke would vote for a playoff and leave the $1.7 million that the Belk Bowl in Charlotte is going to pay them just for showing up this year? That payout is for each school bruh not the total bowl payout that has to be split.  The Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl in Tempe is paying Michigan State and TCU $3.3 million each. The Pinstrip Bowl in the Bronx is handing Syracuse and West Virginia $1.8 million. The dull Heart of Dallas Bowl is throwing Oklahoma State and Purdue $1.1 million just for showing up. None of those teams will ever play for a national title or even be in the hunt for one because they don't have the players or the coaches to win one. Why? Because it costs money to compete at that level!

 So why would they agree to take money off of the table so that the rich could get even more rich! Do you really think they'll just concede to let schools like Notre Dame, Alabama, Oregon and LSU play it off and make even more bread?  That’s like believing that the mafia just gave Vegas up to big corporations for nothing without any residual payout. In my Ochocinco voice, “Child Please!” If you believe that I’ve got some palms trees to sell you imported from Gary, In.

Also those cities that are hosting the bowls are generating money for their local economies. The train left the station 70 or 80 years ago and they can’t pull it back in at this point. Too many cats are getting paid to think boyz will just give it up. So to say that the smaller bowls mean nothing is crazy. Those schools don’t get to keep that bread outright because they have to split it with the conference. However, if 5 or 6 teams go bowling that’s more bread for the conference to split.

Now the BCS Bowls all pay $17 million each to the participating schools win or lose and the national title game pays $18 million. Now all of that money is brought back to the respective conferences and divided up equally. So the key is for the conference to get as many schools in a bowl as possible so they can get more bread. Not only is the money important but these schools get national exposure that not only helps in recruiting student-athletes but also in recruiting students too!

 So when you’re listening to the cats on television pushing an agenda for a playoff, understand that they’re trying to get paid too. This has nothing to do with the student-athlete or the schools. It has everything to do with ESPN/ABC or Fox etc. getting paid at the player’s expense. Ask that same dun if he or she would give up guaranteed money out of their pay check for the sake of a full fledged playoff because it would be better for the game. To a man or woman they’ll all say no! So stop listening to cats that you think are the so-called experts because they’re in on the hustle too. Stop me when I start lyin'!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: TheJayGravesReport