|"How bout y'all put 14 people on the field next time bruh!"|
Hood protocol says, “If you gone ride around calling yourself the Don then always be prepared to get shot.” The old playa’s from around the way just keep it real by saying, “Don’t ever talk too much trash homeboy because there’s always somebody out there willing to give you what you’re lookin’ for.”
Well #1 Notre Dame pulled up in Miami in a convertible 64 Impala with the gold candy paint shinning! They had all 7 Heisman’s and 11 national titles in the trunk. Touchdown Jesus was standing up across the bench seat talking 100 worth of noise while Lou Holtz was spitting on boyz talking trash out of the window til Alabama started shooting! It was like the scene from Boyz N the Hood when Ice Cube floored it to get away.
Alabama cleared the joint real quick by beating the brakes, the doors, the transmission and stripping the joint of all of it’s chrome 42-14. It was 28-0 by the half and there was an Amber alert out for the fake Heisman finalist Manti Te’o by the middle of the 2nd quarter bruh! We saw that dun lead the team out of the tunnel before the game and I swear I saw him try to run back up in that joint after Eddie Lacy’s first touchdown run within the first 3 minutes of the game.
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I went out on a limb and picked Notre Dame because I figured they would show up and take advantage of Bama’s secondary. Not a chance homeboy, they were scared to death during the coin toss! You could see it in their eyes when the ref flipped the coin in the air that boyz wanted to get back on the bus.
You knew it was over when ole boy asked Brain Kelly at the half, "What can you do to get back in this game?" And he said, "Hope Alabama doesn't come back out in the second half!" You could have put the dirt on them right then and there and saved us the trouble!
Bama was bigger, stronger, faster and had better looking girls in the stands cheering for them! What blew me away was how amazed people were on Twitter that A.J. McCarron’s girlfriend was a dime! He’s the freaking starting quarterback of the Alabama Crimson Tide, the best team in the Country two years in a row bruh! He'd better have a fine woman or somethings wrong with him! You don't even need game to pull if you're the quarterback at Bama! A.J. had so much time to throw the ball that he was back there wearing a smoking jacket and slippers like Fred G. Sanford! And the "G" stands for "Got these boyz!"
Where are all of the delusional Notre Dame fans that were hyping Manti Te’o up for the Heisman? I kept telling you all year that he wasn’t that good bruh! He had an inspiring story because he played through the death of both his grandmother and girlfriend. That’s where the story should have ended homeboy. He was way out of his league last night. He was always a step slower and considerably weaker than Lacy and Yeldon as they kept running through him. I thought that he would get exposed during the NFL Combine but Bama beat the scouts to the punch. He's Brian Bozworth all over again playboy.
At halftime the Alabama trainers and team doctors were in the Notre Dame locker room robbing these private school chumps of all of their valuables! They had boyz duck tapped and blind folded as they went through their pockets. Taking all of their BCS National Championship Game gifts that teams get when they arrive. They ran out of there with all of their Adidas gear and their girlfriend's phone numbers. After a beat down like that their own women won’t even claim them when they get back to South Bend. That’s only a face that a mother could love.
Will somebody please tell me why I saw the Leprechaun and Manti getting beat up in Overtown while the game was still going on? They were so scared that they took a wrong turn running out of the stadium trying to get to the airport when they went down 42-7 and ended up in the projects at Sheniqua's house. Last I saw the Leprechaun he was gettin' dragged down the street by two of her baby daddy's! The third Joe was trying on Manti's helmet and shoulder pads in the back room!
The Tide rolled so hard that Big Al got arrested for streaking and fighting in front of Wet Willy’s on South Beach in the middle of the 3rd quarter! During the scrap he tore his ACL and will have to have surgery in Tuscaloosa after the pep rally on Tuesday!
Major props to Nick Saban and Co. He’s built a dynasty that will terrorize college football until some cat is bold enough to challenge him but I don’t see that happening anytime soon homie!
Let me say this before I get out of here. If I hear another clown screaming SEC, SEC that isn’t an Alabama, LSU or Florida fan I’m gonna ride up on you with some real gangsta's from the "G" and teach you a lesson for false flaggin'! Stop riding the coat tails of some cat that you just happen to see once a year and trying to get props off of what he's accomplished! Y'all ain't even cool like that! As a matter of fact, you hate his guts because he keeps beating YOU!
The 7 straight titles read like this: Alabama 3, Florida 2, LSU 1 and Cam Newton 1 not Auburn pimpin'! On some real talk, freaking Purdue could have won a title with Cam Newton! So stop trying to eat off the SEC’s plate when you haven’t paid to eat at the Buffett. You’re like the dun that shows up for the Fraternity meeting and always wants to vote but hasn’t paid dues in 20 years! Better yet, you're the cat that always wants to drink but never brings the liquor or never adds to the kitty for the liquor run and when you do, you need gas money.
Congrats Alabama and Roll Tide!! On some real talk, thanks for shutting up the most obnoxious fan base in the country! Bama is the REAL DON DADA!! I can't hate!!!
Holla At Ya Boy!
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport